THE BLOG
11/25/2014 01:10 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

9 Things I'm Not Grateful For as a New Mom

November represents thankfulness. Individuals are up for the colossal challenge of expressing and releasing what they are grateful for and appreciate during November. They volunteer to participate in many of the daily challenge clubs on Facebook, Twitter, and even Instagram. In fact, I am one of those grateful enthusiasts, but I work every month to share and show my appreciation, not just during the month of November.

I'm sitting here thinking about how grateful I am for giving natural birth to my set of boy/girl twins. On the other hand, let's get real for all the not-so-grateful moments in new parenthood.

susan vernicek

This year, I share with you a bunch of moments that I'm not grateful for. This is why we have platforms to express and share our informative, optimistic, narcissistic, or humorous voices, right?

1. I'm not grateful for Under Armour's "Stretch Cheeky" underwear, which they claim to be one size fits all. I can tell all you pregnant ladies to not even try it. Yes, when I read, "one size fits all," I assumed one size fit all. I wanted to feel good not having to buy "maternity" underwear or granny pants to work out in, so I gave this a try. They need to add a disclaimer saying that it stretches all right, but it stretches and disappears at the same time looking like you are wearing floss. How about "one size fits all, maternity excluded." Thanks Under Armour, I feel sexy and fit now. (Four months after delivery, they fit.)

2. I'm not grateful for the scabbed nipples after learning how to breastfeed. I can't tell you how many times I said f**k in my head while each baby was latching on -- oh and cursing my husband because he doesn't have to suffer physically like I had to.

3. I'm not grateful for the diaper contraption you have to wear during the healing process. I'm learning how to take care of two babies, as if I really want to waddle around the house and take care of myself too?

4. Although I love my twins and every moment with them, I am not grateful for my hand being covered in poop -- my babies' poop or not. No, thank you.

5. I'm not grateful for projectile spit-up from twins at the same time, four times a day. On a positive note, my reflexes have gotten quite quick.

6. I'm not grateful for the nightmares I have almost every night about me not being a good enough mother or screwing something up.

7. I'm not grateful for not producing enough milk, leaving me to think Enfamil was the only way to go -- four months later realizing we got robbed by Enfamil and could have saved lots with Target's formula. I love you, Target.

8. I'm not grateful for the awful thoughts I had while breastfeeding in the middle of the night alone. Do I even dare to share? Please tell me you had every thought possible as well.

9. I'm not grateful for peeing my pants in the supermarket from sneezing.

10. Being that this is number 10, I'll end with what I am grateful for. I'm grateful for all the attention and extra care you get during pregnancy.

Most of you will want to strangle me with what I'm about to tell you. For carrying twins, I had the smoothest, healthiest pregnancy. I could still eat all that I loved to eat, and was able to still work out. Not once did I get sick. I'm grateful for that. Vomiting is my absolute least favorite thing to do. The only craving I "told myself" I had was chocolate. Who was I kiddin'? I need chocolate every day. Last, I'm grateful for only gaining 45 pounds -- not grateful for the stretched-out belly button with a belly ring hole in it. I'll use that in 17 years to show June why not to get her belly button pierced.

I'm grateful for delivering twins naturally, a.k.a. vaginal style, and not feeling a thing -- thank you, epidural. I would give birth all day long, but without the aftermath mess and pain.

All humor aside, I will say I am so grateful for the experiences I have endured so far being a mother. Each of these not-so-grateful moments has taught me a lot. I feel better now that I've released them. I believe in taking a realistic, not romanticized, viewpoint to my pregnancy and motherhood.

I absolutely love the challenge, love my twins, love my family, and I love seeing June and Cade reach their milestones each month.

I'm grateful for all the smiles I wake up to each morning. Morning smiles from my husband, and the moment we walk into the nursery to say good morning to our munchkins... that very first morning eye contact is breathtaking.

Originally posted on IdentityMagazine.net

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