THE BLOG
03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Spiritual Sex: Holiday Celebrations For Couples

You're in it now or in the planning stages. The next few weeks are going to be busy, to say the least. Keeping your sanity might mean taking a bit of time to focus on your relationship. Celebrating yourselves in a new way might make all the difference in great holiday memories and help to mellow you out, too.

Creating memorable ceremonies is important for couples. Yes, you can buy a 'thing' but research shows that the item will soon lose its value unless it is accompanied by a memory-making event. We tend to put our intimate relating last on the list, especially during the holidays. We are often with family members who can trigger emotional aspects about our partners that aren't our highest ideals of what we would like in the relationship. This can be trying but there are ways to counteract this.

There will be times when you'll be able to take a break from it all. Set aside a couple of evening hours on your schedule. A little planning will make all the difference in both intention setting and the fun factor. Setting the time aside to pamper each other and remember the reasons why you love each other can have the most profound affect at this time of the year. These small rituals can be used throughout the year to add novelty, surprise and erotic juice to your relationship. Whether you're having a birthday, anniversary or it's just the beginning of spring or for no reason at all, adapt and use aspects of these ideas and add your own creative input to make them your own.

To create a magical evening that the two of you will remember use your imagination and don't worry too much about looking silly. The intention, focus and love are the most important part. You'll need to gather a few of items beforehand. Consider champagne, a little chocolate, bits of fresh mango or any favorite nibble food you might want. You may also want to get massage oil and any intimate products you might need. Keep it simple, though. A special gift to exchange with each other might fit also. Any combination of the following ideas will make great memories and be easy on the pocket book, too.

• Make an altar with your partner. Bring aspects of yourself and your union with your lover together to represent your relationship. You can make this on a nightstand, on a bookshelf or even temporarily on a cloth on the floor. Use candles, driftwood, statues, pictures, incense, hearts, rocks or anything that means something to you, both individually and together, can be used.

• Choose flowers for your lover that are erotic looking and sensual. These can go on the altar, if you make one, or anywhere you'll be spending the time together.

• Illuminate! Bring out the candles. Arrange them in safe places that balance the energy in the room and create a feeling of warmth and sensual excitement. Save the last one to light together.

• Design a bathing ritual. Candles, warm towels, music, rose petals floating in the tub, champagne and a few drops of an essential oil in the water will make you feel as if you're at a fancy spa for the evening. Take your time. Wash each other, soak, drink, relax - there is nowhere to go and nothing to do except enjoy every moment of NOW.

• A very light meal might be appropriate but don't over due it. You can eat more later, if you want to. Eating a heavy meal now will weigh your energy down and make you sleepy. Make this one finger food and include vegetables, cheeses and maybe even sushi, as it's light and easy to digest. Consider serving on a beautiful rug set upon the floor with cushions spread around and with an exotic, mystical feel to it. Start by erotically feeding each other and make sure you lick your fingers slowly and sensually.

• If you have a Tarot deck of cards, place them on the altar you've created and do a sacred reading for each other. Be relaxed about the interpretations. Use your intuition to "read" the cards. This isn't serious - it's fun.

• Plan a shared sensual massage. Purchase massage oil with a scent you like and make sure you cover the area you'll massage on with an older sheet as some oils can stain. Consider using a blindfold on your lover for at least a portion of the massage.

• Bring an intention to your lovemaking ritual. At the beginning, face each other, each of you place your right hand on the heart of the other and your left hand over the hand of your partner. You are holding their hand to your heart. Each of you take turns briefly saying what you love about the other and what you aspire to for the coming year together. Eye gaze and breathe, as one, for a few minutes before you begin to make love.

• Have a book by the bed with color pictures of positions in it. Something Kama Sutra-ish will do. The number one thing couples are interested in is new positions to add novelty to lovemaking. It helps if you can look at pictures together. This is what a portion of the original Kama Sutra was for - ideas and instruction!

In addition, these short videos will help you get the best out of your intimate time together. Part of your ceremony might be to watch a few of them together for ideas to get the most out of loving.

There are many other things you can do to add memories and spiciness to your holiday fun. Take care of yourselves so that others get the full benefit of being with you in your best light. The point is to relax and enjoy the holidays with each other. When the stress starts to build up you know what to do! Happy Holidays!

Suzie Heumann is the founder of Tantra.com. She studies, writes, has authored three books and makes films about conscious sex, Tantra and the Kama Sutra. Check out Tantra.com Premium for the most comprehensive tantra training available on the Internet!

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