Taking Control of the Finances During Divorce

11/18/2013 09:31 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

In this interview with financial expert Hollis Colquhoun, I talk to Hollis, who reflects on the shock and pain we go through when relationship breakup first hits hard, and how the emotional trauma makes us vulnerable. Luckily, Hollis had some firm foundations for creating her own recovery, which she shares with us here:

I was married for over 20 years, and worked on Wall Street alongside my husband for most of that time. Life was exciting and fulfilling; our marriage and family life were solid. Then one day, my husband came home from work and said "I'm in love with another woman."

I thought it was a joke, but after a few moments of dead silence, I realized there was no punch line. BAM! My marriage over.

My husband told me he couldn't help it, he was "passionately in love" with someone else -- a friend of mine (now ex-friend).
My world was thrown upside down and my mind was blown apart. Every day I had to find the strength just to get out of bed. Then I was faced with the responsibility of taking care of the household and my three teenage daughters, ALONE.

It took me many months before I could start putting the pieces back together and move forward. Thankfully, with my background, an understanding of our financial situation and my study of martial arts, I was able to get right-side up again. After two years of separation, I constructed a fair settlement agreement and was ready to financially and spiritually rebuild my life.

Now my world has been transformed from being one half of a couple to being a confident woman with a wonderful and purposeful life.

What I love most about Hollis' story, is how part of her healing was the creation of a fair settlement with her ex-husband, which allowed her to move on both financially and psychologically.

Hollis now supports other women who are less confident with dealing with their finances, and she welcomes the opportunity to work with women who are experiencing divorce and family break up. She understands the pain they are going through, and also how important it is to take responsibility for the financial situation and find an amicable solution that will be to the benefit of the -- now extended -- family, as a whole.