09/09/2009 02:17 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Who did Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's make-over?

The newly released photo of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed shows him looking far less bedraggled and more like Osama Bin Laden than he had in the downtrodden "before" pictures repeatedly shown on TV. Though we've all been told not to bring in photos of celebrities to hairdressers, he may have shown one of bin Laden's tapes to the make-over stylist at Guantanamo, who is clearly far more capable than the lady in the Bloomingdale's cosmetic department, who let me down miserably when I asked to look like Katherine-Zeta Jones.

His beard is longer, his face, perhaps because of make-up, lighting or both, appears longer, what the people who name face shapes might call, "oval," or "pear-shaped," as opposed to the earlier photo that accompanied every story about whether or not waterboarding is torture. Judging from the way Khalid Sheikh Mohammad (did he use three names before Sarah Jessica Parker?) looked, waterboarding is torture, or certainly when it's done 183 times. His updated presentation is a huge improvement and could land him on the cover of the terrorists' fashion magazine.