In my experience, there are a hundred wrong ways to ask for feedback and one right way. Most of us know the wrong ways. We ask people, "What do you think of me?" "How do you feel about me?" "What do you hate about me?" or "What do you like about me?"
There. It was out. My fear. My uncertainty. My self-doubt. I put it all on the table, and almost instantly I felt a weight off my shoulders. My friend reminded me that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and that being terrified was the best feeling in the world.
Who among us hasn't made critical remarks on the way home from a holiday party? At home, we thank our spouse for making dinner but quickly note that the meat was overcooked. And we've all observed the "I couldn't do it, but I insist my kid do it perfectly" parents.
Although coaching is now a widely accepted practice in the business world, the effectiveness of coaching interventions is rather variable. This depends not only on the type of method used and the competence of the coach, but also on certain psychological qualities pertaining to the client.
Performance appraisals may finally be a human resource system of the past. Tons of evidence and our guts tell us they are ineffective measures of performance. Often, the best performers do not get the highest performance scores.
We can certainly learn some of the characteristics, defining moments and values of each generation, but that's no substitute for taking the time to getting to know the characteristics, defining moments and values of the actual individual people themselves.
Defining success is ever-evolving, but as I embark on the journey, I equate success with happiness. When others around me are happy, then I am happy. If I let up for just one minute, I will find my balance out of whack.
Give kids back their youth, and let them learn the joy of movement and friendship and fairness without your butting in. Our children can do this, but our constant adult oversight keeps them from learning how.
I have come to realize that this way of thinking is self-imposed slavery, and I want to break free. I don't want the plague of spending the rest of my life helping people find happiness, while suffering silently for having that happiness myself.
Too many people in our culture are wearing their long hours at work as badges of honor, believing that climbing the corporate ladder will lead to fulfillment and that what they produce is the measure of who they are.
Seems to me if schools are going to shortchange other athletic programs so football can have a hog's share of the resources, it ought to come out of other men's teams right along with the women's programs.