THE BLOG
07/29/2016 02:05 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Saying No And Why It's Good For Your Soul

A while ago, I was at the store and a woman came up to me and gave me a compliment on my skin. We talked for a moment and she went on to say that she owned a spa and she was looking for some more assistance with her spa. Bingo! I have an esthetician license and I was looking to pick up more work. We agreed on a date and time to meet for my interview and she sent me the address.

Here's where the problem starts.

I pull up and it is an apartment complex. I know many estheticians that practice from their home and are very successful. So I didn't let that deter me, even when I thought to turn around. Long story short, she was part of a MLM (multi-level marketing company). She was not a licensed esthetician or cosmetologist, and she was selling a product that I did not believe in. Yet I still took her brochure, tried her hand treatment, and politely left.

Why on earth did I not say no clearly?

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Really, I think the problem started way before I arrived at her "spa". It started when I did not interview her properly. Ask her the questions that I needed to know. It started when I did not listen to my intuition. I can't tell you how many times I did not listen to my intuition and I let myself down.

It made me think, how many times have I wasted my time. How many times I thought no in my head and I didn't say it immediately out of my mouth.

Don't get me wrong. I'm so not a pushover. I'm normally pretty blunt and straightforward. But the issue is that sometimes I'm too open to listening to people and hearing them out. Some things- and people, just don't deserve my ear. I'm learning to simply cut it off when it presents itself to me. If my first inclination is to say no, then I won't be so apprehensive to just let the word roll off my tongue.

The truth is, more than just saying no is in order. Simply setting boundaries clearly with people and asking them what they want with your time is appropriate. Don't be afraid to ask for clarity, define what that person wants, and act accordingly from there.

Time is one of the things that you can't refund. You don't get to wind the clocks back and start over- ever. So that means that you have to make sure you use your time wisely and require the same from those around you.

Saying no is most definitely one of the things that is good for your soul.