THE BLOG
10/21/2014 11:06 am ET Updated Dec 21, 2014

Marriage -- Is True Love a Facade?

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't." -Unknown

Marriage is not a joke, I say that from experience. Well it could be considered a joke, when you think about the reasons why people get married. People used to get married because they fell in love and wanted to be with a certain person for the rest of their life. They also got married because of the financial benefits or because they wanted children or maybe even because the thought of being alone was difficult for them to comprehend. In some cultures it is because of the pressures from family -- arranged marriages are still alive and kicking!

But in today's world where we are obsessed with diamond rings and celebrity weddings, it seems like have we lost the essence of a real relationship. There are so many wedding-based reality shows on TV which I believe show marriage and relationships as the perfect ending. Every movie ends in the girl and boy falling in love, and they are supposed to live happily ever after. But isn't that just the beginning of an "adult life"?

Isn't being married like the beginning of a trip through tornados and rainbows of life? In my opinion its a trip where filling the gas and getting the car ready is like the wedding day and once you drive off that's when the real triumphs and tribulations began. Through the journey we laugh, cry, hurt, get the tingly feeling, hate each other and grow.

How can two people who fall in love at the age of 20 still stay madly in love at the age of 50? It happened a lot in our parent's generation and it still does, why doesn't it work for all of us?
I am not trying to bash the institute of marriage here but this is just my point of view, maybe because our elders really loved each other unconditionally or they put on this façade about what marriage really is and we grew up believing it.

As humans we are constantly evolving, we change physically and emotionally. We don't necessarily grow apart, but we get to know ourselves and we don't want to just compromise for the sake of keeping peace in the relationship. Sometimes we don't even know we have such strong feelings inside of us. Feelings of love, hate admiration, jealousy and insecurities are constantly growing inside of us.

It also upsets me when people talk about "broken homes" and their impact on people. Why do we still believe that the only way to live a good life is to live in this façade that everything is fine and marriage is the only way to go? Why can't the world just accept that marriage is not for everyone? Why do we as humans prefer to grow apart in marriage then just go in separate directions and be happier.

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together."
-Hemant Joshi

Tami Shaikh is the author of "Detox Your Soul- A 30 Day Roadmap to Loving Yourself"