Since the time of our birth, to the time we become adults, we are told that love is the ultimate reward. We have a day in the year where we celebrate love. On Valentine's Day in school the kid with the most cards is considered the most popular. As women we talk about how the men in our life buy us things and how we are so pampered. We watch shows and movies where girl meets boy and in the end love conquers all and makes life more worthwhile. Yet is this true? Does love make the world go round?
Is it because we are trying to prove to the world that we are good enough to be loved? If true love does exist why then do people fall in love, get married, and a few years later they can't stand each other? Is love just a temporary feeling or is their more to love? Even for a parent's love it seems like a lot of compromises need to be made.
I ask you, "Does unconditional love exist?"
I grew up in a household where my parents always got along. They loved each other very much. I had never seen them argue until was 18. It was great to see them get along, but it kind of gave me a false perception of the world. I looked at the world through rainbow-colored glasses. People were beautiful and they were just perfect the way were created. When I got married at 21, I believed all marriages were like that, no matter how naive that sounds, that is the truth. When I got married it was far beyond my understanding of why my spouse and I argued over small things. I went to the opposite extreme where I started to believe that love didn't exist in its purest form.
I wondered about the love that we have for our children, was it so strong and "unconditional" because of our own selfishness? Do we want to prove to the world that we are great parents because our kids go to the best universities or are on the best sports team? I believed that we do this because it feeds our own ego; it helps us to feel good about our own self. We try to mold our children to become what we couldn't be. So what is love?
After years of contemplation, reading, experimenting and just observing humans, I have come to the conclusion. That love cannot stand on its own two feet. Love is like a beautiful sky at night. Where there is darkness, yet the sky is illuminated with stars, planets, moon, etc. The same way our hearts and minds are surrounded with darkness, we are skeptical of the world, the people around us. But then bam! It happens, someone comes into our lives -- a child, a friend, a significant other and our hearts are illuminated. In that illuminated heart we have laughter and memories.
Today I do believe that love exists. The green in the grass and how it feels under your feet, the shade of a tree when it gives you relief from scorching sun, even a prayer that has been answered or a miracle that happens when you least expect it; that to me is love.
I have also come to believe that self-love is above all. To communicate with yourself and tell yourself what a great job you have done, to always be honest with yourself. It means to not feel guilty for every little mistake that you make but give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Stand behind yourself through thick or thin the way we do for our children. Let guilt be a thing of the past and acceptance be our friend today. We need to believe that we are made in perfect harmony with our creator. We are the way we were meant to be curious, enlightened, hyper, artistic, skeptical, and logical and so much more.
I know it's hard to see this when you're down, but when you exude self-love, you receive love from all around you. So my parents were absolutely right about giving me a beautiful example of what true love is today, I do wear the rainbow-colored glasses, but the first thing I see with them on is how beautiful I am myself
So, then, "what's love got to do with anything? Love is everything."