11/25/2013 04:56 pm ET Updated Jan 25, 2014

Age Has It's Perks. Really?!

I consider myself to be a healthy person. I walk three miles a day thanks to my trusty dog. I go up and down the stairs so many times a day, you should be able to bounce a quarter off my back side. I said you should be able to. But you can't.

I take vitamins, eat fewer carbs, consume just enough sugar to keep myself hospitable, and drink enough water to keep an elephant alive.

So why, WHY has my body forsake me?

Everything hurts when I wake up. Hell, it all hurts all the time. From time to time, I've battled some goofy foot ailment called Plantar Fasciitis (don't ask) and I have ongoing back and neck problems. Serious ones. On top of all that, I'm dealing with some major carpal tunnel issues.

But this camel's back has been broken.

I've needed readers since I was in my 40s. No big deal. I buy fun bling readers in different colors and use them as I need them. But I've always prided myself on my 20/20 long distance vision. That is, until this past weekend.

As I sat at the theater with my fiancé, I began to notice how much I was blinking as I gazed up at the stage. It was a lot. I was trying to focus my eyes so that I could clearly see the performers. I couldn't do it. Then it hit me. If I couldn't see the performers from the front row, I needed glasses.

Seriously?! This is what I get in my Golden Years?!

This is what I get after giving birth and raising a daughter pretty much single-handedly? This is my reward for outliving serious illness, getting through menopause and a hysterectomy, surviving the divorce from hell, suffering through the grief of losing parents and loved ones? This is my compensation for living a clean life, being a good girl, coming back from poverty, foreclosure, bankruptcy and heartache?

Oh, I don't think so.

I want more. A lot more. I want a body that treats me as nicely as I treat it. Is that really too much to ask?

Come on! I've never smoked or done drugs. Whatever my body has needed I have bought it. I get monthly massages, take steam baths, facials, and pedicures. I have regular check-ups and yearly lab workups. I oil it up and lotion it down. I get plenty of rest and I use heat packs and ice packs when the aches and pains act up. I feed it with the necessary Celebrex and Aleve when things get to be too much. I treat my body with respect. Mostly because it's the only one I've got and I figure if I'm good to it, it will be good to me.

Let's face it, my body owes me. And it owes me big.

I've heard it said a million times that growing old isn't for sissies. Well, the truth is, I rather like growing older. I'm smarter and more confident than I've ever been. Business is still great fun and so is the monkey business. The years have been tough, but they've been pretty damn awesome too.

My life is filled with good friends, a loving family, the best kid ever, adventures, new opportunities, and laughter and excitement. Let's face it, I wouldn't be me if I didn't go through all that I have. I get it, and I'm happy for it.

That being said, this body breakdown has got to stop.

Anyone out there have any answers (short of going to Switzerland for a body transplant)? I'm not looking for the fountain of youth, but I am hoping to find the fountain of sustainability.

I'm all ears!