01/29/2015 06:14 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

An Open Letter to Apple From Parents Everywhere

Dear Apple,

I am an avid Apple product user. So firstly, I thank you for bringing the iPhone into my life to keep my calendar organized. I'm grateful that the iPad exists for long car rides. I love my Macbook Air. And I truly thank you for putting me in control of what I watch with my child by creating the Apple TV's on demand experience and partnering with educational providers like PBS Kids. You've done so much right.

But, there is one place I regret to inform you that you missed the mark. And I think I speak for parents everywhere when I ask this question:

How did you think that the Apple TV control being a sleek thin silver bit of nothingness was a good idea?

For single people in their 20's, sure, it's a beautiful design, but for anyone with a kid, I can assure you, it has created a special kind of hell...

The sheer amount of time I have spent looking for that sucker...

It usually goes something like this:

"Mommy, can we watch the Wild Kratts?"

"Sure, turn it on. You know how to use the Apple TV..."

"But... where's the Apple TV remote?"

[The rest of this conversation takes place in my head]

"In the name of all that is holy where is that thing...
We can't possibly have lost it again. AGAIN.
Let's look under the magazines. Nope... How about behind the pillow, under the coffee table. Nope, nope and nope.... Where the F*** is it?"

And then inevitably I reach my hand into the back of the sofa, or in a shoe, or at the bottom of a container that I thought still had popcorn in it and voila! There it is, the pixie-sized remote control that is the bane of my, and I'm pretty sure all technologically inclined parents' existence.

Above is my actual Apple TV remote. Note the stickers as an attempt to make it easier to see... (sadly it doesn't actually help and now the remote is a little sticky...)


How about a family-sized remote? Don't care about the aesthetics, just that we can find it. Make it flourescent green, put flashing lights on it, make it the size of the phone Zack Morris used in Saved By The Bell. Just please, for the love of all that is holy, stop making me look for it.

I believe I speak on behalf of parents everywhere with this plea:

We want to use your products, we just don't want our children to keep losing them... because looking for something nearly as thin as a credit card amongst transformers, books, blankets, shoes, backpacks, crayons, and snacks... well... it might just make us lose our minds.
If you do come out with a new remote, tell me. I swear I will write an article about it.