One of my clients recently posted in our private Facebook group how she was feeling angry with her other half because of his insecurity about her earning more than he did. In fact, she explained, he got so insecure about it at one time that he left her, blaming her "obsession" with her business and berating her for not "getting a job".
She went on to explain that they later got back together again and had their little one. Ever since then though, she's struggled to make money in her businesses. Today, she explained, I've decided that I'm no longer going to put up with his insecurities and laziness. I'm sick and tired of struggling for money because HE can't handle my success.
Wooo hooo! I congratulated her. I'm so PROUD of you. That is a fabulous sign of energy shifting and you getting in touch with who you really are.
Then something equally amazing happened (in my clients' eyes): Another member of the group posted how inspired she felt by reading her post.
Then something even more inspiring happened -- out came all kinds of stories from other women in the group about the same topic. Stories of broken relationships, violence and being made to feel as if there were something wrong with them for being strong and independent and earning more than their male partner.
I realized later on after reading all those other stories that jealousy of my financial and entrepreneurial skills were at the heart of why my then-husband walked out on me, leaving me to face losing my business, my home and my mind alone.
Women are trained from a young age to not express their anger. They are urged to fit in, to comply, to be seen and not heard. So we learn to stuff down those feelings of anger and put up with all kinds of abuse and labelling. We learn that if we want to be liked we have to be good, and that above all, we must not upset the men in our lives.
We are also told that a man must always earn more than his wife and that to do otherwise is emasculating him. So women consistently downplay their intelligence, their drive and their ability to go out and make a difference and conquer the world.
Women pay a great price for this conditioning and hiding of their emotions -- depression, weight gain, stress, fear, anxiety and struggling, lackluster businesses to name but a few.
When a woman learns to truly access her emotions and use them to guide her actions, to express her abilities fully, and to raise her self esteem so that no matter what anyone thinks of her, least of all her partner, she finds that nothing can stand in her way.
In my work as a money confidence coach and EFT practitioner moments like these make my heart swell with pride for my clients.
They are finding their feet in life, they are growing their business, they are increasing their income, and above all, they are learning to be themselves. They are finally giving themselves permission to be themselves in all their glory.
A woman who quietly expresses ALL of herself is truly beautiful to behold. She becomes rich in all senses of the word. She becomes a richer mother, business owner, partner and contributor because she is confident in her ability to be herself.
She richly expresses her true abilities and goes on to not only make more money, she goes on to make more of a difference in this world.
And this world needs those women.