08/13/2013 04:15 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Make a Decision

2013-08-13-WomanEntrepreneurStressedandFrustrated200x300.jpgDo you ever struggle with making the right decision?  Ever wonder if you are going after what you truly want?  What happens when you get close to what you want?  Ever feel anxious when you are about to make a decision?  How do you tell if it is an ego play or your real heart's desire?
I have held a strong vision in my heart since I was 12 years old.   In my vision I was running my own business, I had a gorgeous family and we were in France!
I kept that vision alive for myself every day and I had no idea HOW it was going to happen, but I did know how deeply I desired it and every cell in my body smiled at the thought of the vision.  Well, that is not entirely true, there was a piece of me that wondered if it was really possible, if I could really live that life. Do you know what I mean?  That little internal piece that questions if you can really do it, really be it, really have it?

I am sitting here at a glorious white washed vanity, peering out large French windows onto a scene that makes my heart sing.  There is a pot of petunias on the window sill and just beyond it a perfectly situated french villa framed in the standard iron and soft yellow shutters that one would expect in the South of France.

A feeling of stillness enters me as I remember the dream of living this way.  Still in this moment a piece of me says "Is this real, is this possible? Wow! This is truly what you have created!"

Do you want to know how I did it?

Let's first talk about what happens when the Femme Types are not in sync and you attempt to make a decision. It may appear from the outside that you need your New Yorker to make a decision. Again the New Yorker, is the Femme Type responsible for results, prosperity and leadership in your life.  However this is a mistake, if your New Yorker is not supported by your Indie and the Frenchie then you will have a difficult time making a decision and lack confidence in your ability to make and TRUST your decisions. Without the support of the other two Femme Types you will feel anxious when making a decision, overwhelmed and often regret the choices you have made.

So then how do you make a decision?

Step 1.  Connect with your Indie - When your Indie is in sync she will become clear and aware of her emotions and know exactly what she needs next without second guessing or undermining her authority.  She will feel an inner peace, a calm and a directness.  This will allow her to support your New Yorker when it comes to decisions about your prosperity, your business and the next steps you need to take to move back into the power of your life.

Step 2.  Find your Frenchie - If the Frenchie is not in sync your New Yorker will feel overly protective and be afraid of expressing vulnerability (she has her guard up).  This is forcing the New Yorker to go into protective mode and blocking her off from connection and intimacy.  It is very difficult to make an accurate decision from this space.  The Frenchie allows your New Yorker to feel open to possibilities and support without feeling like she needs to do it all herself.

The secret to making a powerful decision is to allow the Indie to guide, so the Frenchie can enjoy the ride and the New Yorker will then know exactly what she needs to do in order for you to get the results you are seeking in your life.  It may take some time to start making decisions from the Indie, it requires a deep amount of self-trust and self compassion.  Ask yourself the following question "Will this decision allow me to expand and move closer to my vision?"  Then listen for the Indie response, the Indie speaks first and softly be wise here as she is often over powered by the New Yorker that will ask questions like "How can we afford this?  What if I fail?  What if I can't do it?"

It takes courage and you must be able to say to your self "This is how I chose to live!"  Once you align your Indie with your New Yorker, you will be more productive and confident to DO the things that matter, and make the decisions that will produce the results you really want for your life.

Forgive me for getting long on this, I know so many women who attempt to make a decision from their New Yorker.  What I can leave you with is this...

Most of us have inner struggles about what to do, conflicting ideas that pull us back and forth. Why do we have these reactions (even sometimes to things that we know we want?) -- because we are continually required to grow BEYOND the boundaries that we have inherited and therefore establish our own lives.

One of my favorite quotes says: "You didn't get to where you are by standing still..."

Make the decision, no matter what decision it is, trust yourself and it WILL become the right decision.

Tara Marino is a woman of deep sensuality and feminine energy. Over the years she has helped thousands of women live the life they desire - without sacrifice. She created a life-changing, revolutionary system for women called The Femme Types. Visit Elegant Femme, where conscious women are taught how to use a formula on how to create a life that they truly desire.