02/02/2015 05:55 pm ET Updated Apr 04, 2015

A Husband Defends the Band Rush

More Pinot? It's good right? I got it on the top shelf at the grocery store. No, not the second-to-top shelf. Taste the berries.

What? That noise? I put on a CD. It's the best three-man band on the face of the Earth. Rush. You totally love them, remember? When you say "hate," I think what you mean is "love."

No. No. Just listen to them. Are you listening? This band sends a great message. Listen to how positive they are. You're not listening. Drink some more Pinot.

Okay, three positive aspects that you can't deny. What? That's ridiculous. Stop denying without listening.

First, literary knowledge. No, I've only had one glass of Pinot. Let's listen to the song "Xanadu."

It's so good, right?

No, Rush is not referencing Olivia Newton-John, they're referencing Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Kubla Khan or Genghis Khan or something -

And the tainted melon! In the last refrain! He actually DOES drink the milk of paradise! What? The cantaloupe Listeria outbreak? Stop laughing. This is a great song.

Let's listen to "The Trees." It's metaphorical, you know. Here's a little jazz flute. No, it does NOT sound like the Peruvian flute bands in the New York City subways.

Just listen. Stop talking and listen.

You're missing the point! Rush brought POETRY back! Like Beowulf! When poetry was music! AND THEY ONLY HAVE THREE MEN IN THEIR BAND!

The second positive aspect is, of course, their positive message.

You just snorted Pinot on your shirt.

Remember the song "Closer To The Heart?" You love that song. Sing it with me:

The Blacksmith and the Artist

Reflect it in their art

Forge their creativity

Closer to the Heart

Babe? You in the bathroom? Point being, this is deep -- are you done flushing? I SAID THIS IS DEEP SHIT! The blacksmith! The artist! Each person has a role in life!

The third aspect -- artistic integrity.

Take off your John Lennon glasses, you do not look like Geddy Lee. Hello? The lead singer who also happens to be the bassist AND the keyboardist?

Now listen to "Spirit of the Radio" -- all this machinery making modern music... glittering prizes and endless compromises! Amazing, right?

Endless compromises -- I KNEW you'd like that line! They're making a statement about the phoniness of the music industry!

Now stop. Close your eyes.

Listen to that guitar solo! It's a well-known fact that Rush is the most difficult band to play on Guitar Hero. I told you that story about the guy in Best Buy, right?

I did?


Babe? You can open your eyes now.

Let's listen to "Xanadu" again and watch NHL highlights.