The following is the first draft of a statement by Vice President Dick Cheney regarding I. Lewis Libby, unreleased by the White House.
Mr. Libby has informed me that he is resigning to fight the charges brought against him. I have accepted his decision with deep regret. It is indeed a sad day for our nation when lying, perjury, and obstruction of justice can be interpreted by an activist prosecutor as somehow inconsistent with winning the war on terror.
Scooter Libby is one of the most capable and talented individuals I have ever known. He has given many years of his life to public service and has served our nation tirelessly and with great distinction. Should this investigation spiral out of control however, I will of course deny ever having met the man.
In our system of government an accused person is presumed innocent until a contrary finding is made by a jury after an opportunity to answer the charges and a full airing of the facts...or he or she is tortured to the point of death at the discretion of the president. Mr. Libby is entitled to that opportunity.
Because this is a pending legal proceeding, in fairness to all those involved, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on the charges or on any facts relating to the proceeding; however I will work tirelessly behind the scenes to smear, denigrate and threaten all those who differ with my hallucinative reality.
Now go fuck yourselves.