09/19/2013 10:54 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

11 Foods That No Man Should Eat... Ever

There's nothing worse than coming home from a long day of punching bears in the steel foundry to discover a table full of Luna bars, spray-on salad dressing, and other nonsense that ups your estrogen level just by looking at it. These are the 11 foods no man should ever eat... at least when people are watching.

A Veggie Burger
If you're not gonna eat meat, then don't order something meat-flavored... unless you plan on cubing a veggie burger up and stuffing it into a turducken, in which case, pass the gravy.

Lettuce Wraps
Trying to fit into your old prom dress? No? Then put that lettuce wrap between two pieces of bread instead of eating a half-constructed sandwich.

Baby Food
Seriously... when you're talking about food no man should eat, this is pretty obvious... although stewed carrots do improve eyesight.

Misted Salad Dressing
Isn't the point of salad dressing to make salad more like soup by pouring a whole bottle on it? Nothing you eat should ever come out of a spray bottle. Ever.

Finger Sandwiches
These are the kinds of crustless, misshapen, cucumber-/cream cheese-stuffed things that're perfectly at home at a baby shower... yet every time you have a Monday Night Football party, somebody invites his fingerwich-loving girlfriend and her 1/8 sandwiches... which nobody notices you pocketing and eating in the bathroom.

Bon Bons
Yeaaaaah. These things are so girly, you can't even... oh, crap. That's ice cream and chocolate, isn't it? Will anyone notice if you just put 30 in a bowl and mash them up? Because there's nothing wrong with a man eating chocolate chip ice cream.

There's plenty more foods men shouldn't touch with a ten ft pole, and it's all in the full story on!