If dog is man's best friend, why don't we care more about what their snacks taste like? Are those Beggin' Strips really worth beggin' for? Does a Snausage really taste like, uh, snausage? And are gourmet goods from puppy bakeries any different than the classic Milkbone? To find out, we've tasked one of our discerning food editors and his trusty puppy to sample seven classic dog treats, then give their educated, white-tablecloth takes on them... which is to say: here's an idiot and a cute puppy eating crap.
Bocce's Bakery's Chicken Cordon Bleu Bones
Starting out classy! This gourmet NYC bakery specializes in upscale treats like doggy Shake Shack Burgers and Lobster Rolls. Since both Kuma and Andy have shellfish allergies, we went with the French classic.
Andy's Reaction: An excellent choice for discerning dogs. There are subtle notes of poultry in each crunchy bite, with the cheese flavor offering a brief respite from the bacon aftertaste.
Kuma's Reaction: As is common practice in the canine world, Kuma took a bite of the bone, then hid the rest under the couch cushion. It will remain there with his other preferred treats until the next housecleaning.
Beggin' Strips
The popular bacon-flavored treats that are advertised as turning your dog into the equivalent of a withdrawing crack addict.
Andy's Reaction: There's a slight hint of bacon on the back of the tongue, but the most disappointing thing about this is its total lack of flavor... It should be either way tastier, or way disgusting-er. It's neither.
Kuma's Reaction: He got the beggin' part down, immediately taking to his hind legs in order to get to the bacon-scented goodness (note: Kuma has never had bacon... This is every species' reaction to that smell.). He then preceded to take a bite, then take the strip outside and forget about it.