On any given night there're plenty of types of terrible people in bars, but New Year's Eve is a special powder keg of people-watching. Whether you're at a pub, restaurant, or old-fashioned house party, it's amateur hour all night long, and even teetotalers are downing bottomless cups of the most intoxicating spirit of all: new beginnings.
The guy leading the champagne toast
If you drank more, and talked less, maybe you'd have better toasts to give next New Year's Eve.
The big spender
That's funny that you dropped $1500 on $12 worth of distilled potato, and, apparently, $1488 worth of cranberry juice.
The open bar enthusiast
It's a great deal, right? Only have to drink 14 more whiskey-gingers before you offset the cover!
The over-the-top, inappropriate midnight kissers
You realize it's 12:06, right?
The guy who brings the super-hot chick nobody knows and spends the entire time insecurely preventing her from talking to all the new friends he promised her she'd make
Did you really just follow her to the bathroom?
The guy who dropped $120 and got really full on a really classy dinner he didn't even want to attend before hitting the party
The first regret of the new year.
The guy who didn't attend the classy dinner and now has retroactive FOMO
How does everyone else already have all these inside jokes?!? It's only 10:30!
The fake countdown dude
10! 9! 8!... 9! 10!
The resolution sharing guy
Oh yeah?! So great to hear that you're planning to start going to the I DON'T CARE.
The ask-you-about-your-resolution girl
This year I hope to do a better job of feigning interest in self improvement, and your questions regarding it.