Pizza toppings: Everyone's got their favorite, but let's face it -- the market's kinda stagnated in recent years. Pepperoni's played out, and pineapple? DON'T GET US STARTED ON PINEAPPLE. So, to shake things up in our pizza marriage, we ordered a bunch of Domino's pizzas that we could top with some new (and some insane) accoutrements. Then we recruited a bunch of guinea pigs, which were not one of the toppings.
The subsequent taste-test was sometimes shocking, sometimes life-affirming, and always entertaining.
Inspired by Domino's "Top or Not?" game, the different toppings we used in our experiment were (in no particular order):
- Jelly "cronuts"
- Mac & cheese
- An ice cream sundae
- Fried chicken
- Eggs over easy
- Sushi (sashimi and rolls)
We brought our seven brave, intrepid taste-testers into a lab (read: a room in our office with good ventilation) and laid out before them our seven pizza selections. Then, we had them eat one slice each from each of the weirdly topped pies and opine aloud. We recorded their comments, and, once they'd tasted all of the pizzas, rank them.
Needless to say, there were some definite winners and losers here. But which topping will people soon be begging Domino's to put on their menu? Let's find out.
7. SUSHI PIZZA
General consensus: By far the least popular of the pizzas, this overly briny mess combined the traditional cheese and sauce of a regular Dominos pie with salty salmon and tuna. The rice added a gummy texture that most tasters found revolting. Jiro has nightmares of this pizza.
Winning endorsement: "It's got a lot of salt." - Kristin
Scathing pan: "It literally tastes like I went to a dumpster, pulled out a bunch of rotten food, and ate it without knowing what it is." - Alex
6. ARTICHOKE PIZZA
General consensus: While a more traditional pizza topping than most, artichoke still didn't fare well due to its overwhelming sourness. It was a little more divisive than sushi, at least, with people who liked artichokes on their own being more likely to tolerate the pie.
Winning endorsement: "There's a whisper of earthiness." - Mike
Scathing pan: "That was really upsetting. I bit into the artichoke and it sprayed vegetable juice into my mouth before I could taste anything else. So bitter!" - Ali
5. MAC & CHEESE PIZZA
General consensus: The mother lode of cheese and carbs middled out due to, well, too much cheese and carbs. Our tasters seemed to think it was too much of a good thing, with most not even being able to take a second or third bite.
Winning endorsement: "It feels binding. Like, it's really good, but it's gonna be in my body for a while." - Mike
Scathing pan: "I feel like it would be extremely difficult to have two whole slices of this." - Kristin