THE BLOG
11/21/2014 06:08 pm ET Updated Jan 21, 2015

Stuff I Didn't Know About Adulthood Until I Got Here

  • Most things are complicated.
  • Most people are complicated.
  • Sooner or later, you have to learn to be assertive.
  • You really only need a few good friends.
  • The amount of thanks you gave your mother for cooking is directly related to the amount of thanks you'll get from your own kids.
  • Being right is less important and valuable than you ever thought it would be.
  • Grownups get mad at kids for making messes, but nobody makes bigger messes than grownups.
  • Taxes suck.
  • There are too many occasions where there is very little you can do to help.
  • Just when you think you've got it all figured out, everything changes.
  • Nothing is black and white.
  • You will continue to be haunted by everything you swore you'd never do as a parent.
  • People can change, but you can't change them.
  • Sometimes life is absolutely terrifying.
  • The most valuable skill you will ever develop is listening, followed closely by shutting up.
  • You're going to feel ambivalent about a lot of things.
  • No matter how old you get, there are still times when all you want is your mommy.
  • You are the only one who's going to eat that last little bit of cereal in the box.
  • Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader.
  • Emotions are transient. Let them come and go.
  • You'll probably regret voting for at least half of the people you vote for.
  • Worry is a robber.
  • You are going to change a lot of toilet paper rolls, diapers, and trash can liners.
  • Swearing, when saved for special occasions, can really make you feel better.
  • Sometimes doubt leads to the answers.
  • It's virtually impossible to leave the house without spending at least $40.
  • Gossip always gets you back.
  • You really don't need all that stuff.
  • Buying stuff really does seem to make you feel better sometimes.
  • Even if you didn't lose the remote control, you're going to be the one to find it.
  • Watching the news is only occasionally beneficial.
  • The IKEA instructions include everything but the argument with your significant other.
  • Sometimes you don't know you're experiencing PMS until you feel the urge to throw things at people's heads.
  • No good has ever come from the word "upgrade" especially as it relates to software.
  • Every time you turn around, some organization will be asking for your money.
  • You will continually surprise yourself at your ability to waste time.
  • There is freedom in accepting that life is uncertain and unfair.
  • It's good to say no sometimes.
  • You can act brave without feeling brave.
  • Loving someone will reveal just as much about yourself as it will about them.
  • Your metabolism is a jerk.
  • You might as well say "I love you" every time you feel like it.
  • No matter what you do, individual socks are going to randomly disappear.