10/29/2007 05:06 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

White House Rebrands CDC: Censors For Damage Control

So in addition to telling America last week that Global Warming is good for you, Presidential spokesperson Dana Perino insisted that the White-House's edits to the Senate testimony of CDC Chief Julie Gerberding had not "watered down" the facts.

As we can see from the unedited version, that's true. The document wasn't watered down, it was water-boarded... until it rendered the version of facts the White House wants you to hear.

Let's take a look at a few of the inconvenient truths that the censors at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue found too objectionable to include:

Global warming will cause Katrina-like storms:

Catastrophic weather events such as heat waves and hurricanes are expected to become more frequent, severe, and costly.

Global warming will bring malaria and dengue to the states:

Climate change is likely to alter the current geographic distribution of some vector-borne and zoonotic diseases... such as plague, Lyme disease, West Nile virus, malaria, hantavirus pulmonary syndrome, and dengue fever; some may become more frequent, widespread, and outbreaks could last longer

Global warming might kill grandpa:

The United States is expected to see an increase in the severity, duration, and frequency of extreme heat waves. This, coupled with an aging population, increases the likelihood of higher mortality as the elderly are more vulnerable to dying from exposure to excessive heat. Midwestern and northeastern cities are at greatest risk.

Global warming makes more smog, lung disease:

Higher surface temperatures, especially in urban areas, encourage the formation of ground-level ozone. Ozone can irritate the respiratory system, reduce lung function, aggravate asthma, and inflame and damage cells that line the lungs. In addition, it may cause permanent lung damage and aggravate chronic lung diseases.

Global warming means water-shortages in the West:

The west coast of the United States is expected to experience significant strains on water supplies as regional precipitation declines and mountain snowpacks are depleted.

And -- particularly inconvenient given the current so-Cal conflagrations -- global warming means more wild fires!

Forest fires are expected to increase in frequency, severity, distribution, and duration.

It's hard to be shocked anymore by the administration's bald contempt for science and human health. But this what happens when you outsource global warming policy to Dick Cheney.