THE BLOG
12/07/2006 04:56 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Warning: Beware of Volkswagen Drivers

On TV lately I keep seeing these Volkswagen drivers getting in all these accidents.

What happens is this: the drivers are just blathering on with their friends, yadda-yadda-yadda, not looking where they're going, and then KALBOOEY!

Now you might say it's not their fault, it's an accident. And I would agree if it was just one or two, but this keeps happening day after day, commercial after commercial, and finally I'm like "Coincidence? Um, I don't think so!"

Actually, you'd think after seeing one or two of these accidents any sensible person would be avoiding Volkswagens like the plague, but no, they keep climbing into the cars, distracting the driver with some another tedious conversation and then - KAPOW- they smash into something again. I'm telling you, THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

The funny thing is, at the end of the commercials, you see the Volkswagen drivers standing around all safe and sound, but you don't see the drivers of the other vehicles, do you? That's probably because they've been driven down to see Dr. Quincy in the morgue, taken out by another Golf or a Jetta or some other VW weapon of mass destruction.

So this is my advice America: if you're driving along and you see a Volkswagen coming towards you, for Pete's sake, swerve onto the sidewalk if you have to, but just stay out of that cars way!

Seriously, I wish whoever did that "truth.org" campaign to get people to stop smoking would do a similar campaign to get people to stop driving Volkswagens, 'cause those things are certifiable killers.