06/19/2013 08:27 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Drag Is Everywhere

One side effect of being a drag queen's husband is that drag is everywhere. What I mean by this is that anything I hear or see suddenly becomes inspiration for a number for Vivian. Basically I have drag on the brain 24/7.

I'll be driving in the car and a song will come on the radio, and I'll immediately begin to wonder whether it would be an appropriate song for Vivian to perform. I have certain rules when I analyze a song for Vivian. First, no ballads; I feel that Vivian should not perform ballads. To me that just isn't her style. Also, the song can't be too long. The length of a song is important, because a queen can lose the audience if the song she chooses runs too long. The song also has to be the correct tempo. I look for songs that don't have a tempo that screams, "This number must be choreographed!" Vivian is at her best when she can just work the stage with her little shuffle. Heavy choreography is not for Vivian; she can handle heavy choreography, but it's just not her style. If the song fits those criteria, I will tag it via Shazam so that Vivian can take a listen to it.

Movies and television shows are another area where ideas for Vivian can be found. I have recently started the habit of telling Vivian "no" whenever we are watching a period show. You see, Vivian loves the Victorian age and has several costumes inspired by it. Vivian's costume designer also loves period shows, so I have to be careful how many period shows Vivian sees, because all it takes is a text and an order is placed. I will admit that Vivian looks amazing in period costumes, and I do find myself saying, "OK, Vivian needs that." Those words always end up costing me more money than I thought. So now I'm very cautious about showing when I feel that Vivian needs a particular costume that we see in a movie or TV show.

The oddest place I have ever been inspired was this past February. I was at home in New Jersey and went to Disney on Ice with my twin niece and nephew. Almost every costume worn made me think to myself, "Vivian needs that." It was at that point that I realized that drag is everywhere. After the show I texted Vivian and told her that. We both had a good laugh.

So remember, drag isn't only in drag shows. It is everywhere.

This blog post originally appeared on Diary of a Drag Queen's Husband.