01/18/2008 03:51 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

How To Read Bill Kristol

There's one thing you can say about Bill Kristol: he's consistent.

He reminds me of the movie critic on a TV show I used to be on. The rule of thumb was if he liked it, I hated it, and if he hated it, I was first in line the next day to see it.

If I were to read Kristol's pieces in the NYT op-ed, that's how I would approach it. I don't ever plan to read one, and that paper has been greatly diminished in my eyes because they hired him, but if you really want to know what's going on, read Kristol and believe the opposite.

He hasn't been right about anything, not ever.

The latest example of what not to believe came when he said on Fox News that Sen. Clinton was faking her emotional moment in New Hampshire. He said it with great conviction. He was so wrong even BRITT HUME disagreed with him.

He says Clinton faked it? She must have been sincere.

Of course, he has been wrong about bigger things, Iraq for instance. Everything he's ever said on Iraq, for instance. There is blood on his hands which he has now wiped off on the op-ed page of The New York Times.

Meanwhile, if you're ever stuck someplace and you can't avoid Kristol, just use this rule: If Bill Kristol says something, always believe the opposite. You can't go wrong.

Remember, he's the man who said that the Iraq war "could have terrifically good effects throughout the Middle East," and "Very few wars in American history were prepared better or more thoroughly than this one by this president."

And Plan 9 From Outer Space is one of the great American films of all time.