06/25/2012 05:50 pm ET Updated Aug 25, 2012

What Caring About What Your Drink Says About You, Says About You

If you google "what your drink says about you" you'll get an unending list of articles that claim to decipher what a given drink choice reveals about who you are. For example, if you drink a rum and coke one website declares you "don't know to try any thing else" and therefore "are not very adventurous in life." Ouch. I'm no cocktail psychic, but I think they might've went from A to C on that one. The sad thing is people actually buy into this stuff. Yes, your drink does say something about you -- it says what kind of drink you like to drink. But most people don't see it that way.

It's truly hilarious to see the reaction from some customers, usually men, when they receive a cocktail they ordered and it doesn't look the way they hoped it would. A good example is the Clover Club cocktail, which also happens to be namesake of the bar where I work. It's a classic cocktail dating back to before prohibition. Our version is comprised of gin, lemon juice, dry vermouth, raspberry syrup and egg white. It's completely delicious. Men skim the menu, zero in on gin and vermouth and think martini -- which they know won't dim their masculine sheen -- and feel it's a safe bet. Then the drink arrives. It's in a coupe glass, light pink with a layer of froth on top courtesy of the egg white, garnished with a single raspberry. You'd think I just handed them a unitard and ballet slippers and asked them for a few pirouettes. "Oh, uh, heh heh, I think you better drink this," they say, sliding it to their female companion without tasting it. "I'll just have a Macallan 18 on the rocks."

In my mind I'm thinking, I'm not impressed that you ordered a Macallan 18. But I am impressed that you're willing to spend $36 to cope with your insecurities.

The Clover Club, due to the shape of it's glass, color and garnish, is what these men and their friends might dub a "gay drink." Which is not just offensive to gay men, it's also completely misguided. I know plenty of gay men who enjoy scotch on the rocks plus they're actually comfortable with their sexuality. Because really, if you can't drink a pink drink without worrying that people will think you're gay, what exactly does that say?

To me ordering a drink just to appear manly conveys far less confidence than just ordering whatever it is that you feel like drinking, if that happens to be something that some would perceive as "gay" or "girly" who cares? And if you are with someone that will judge you for what you order, why are you with them?

Of course there are exceptions. Yes, I will judge you if you order a Cosmo, but not because of the drink itself (the Cosmopolitan is a great drink), but ordering one means you watched Sex and the City and thought "I'll have what they're having."   Then again, if you've got the balls to order a Cosmo what do you care what I think?

By the way, my drink's an Old Fashioned, and yeah, I think that's cool.