THE BLOG
11/21/2014 11:04 am ET Updated Jan 21, 2015

7 Reasons to Be Thankful This Mom Isn't on Instagram

Toni Hammer

A few of my friends have suggested I get on the Instagram bandwagon. I've thought about it, but one more social media thing to keep track of may make my head actually explode, and I don't think I need another distraction sucking time out of my day. Time that could be used for important things, like sleep and hygiene. Plus, my kids commandeer my phone most of the day and they prefer to take pictures of the wall, the floor and blurry selfies.

And even if I did have Instagram, I guarantee you wouldn't want to follow me. Allow me to explain to you seven pictures I would post to help you understand why you should be thankful I am not on Insta.

Picture: A poopy diaper.
Caption: Who can guess what we had for dinner last night?

Picture: The coagulated grossness beneath the crisper drawers in my fridge.
Caption: Behold the tears of a thousand sad and unused vegetables.

Picture: My 2-year-old with chocolate smeared all over her face.
Caption: Yay! I don't have to make dinner tonight!

Picture: Me with half a doughnut in my mouth
Caption: Kids had oatmeal. I love being a grown-up!

Picture: A six-inch tendril of snot hanging from my son's nostril.
Caption: Anyone have the number for the World Record people? I think I have a contender.

Picture: My yoga pants with seven holes in them.
Caption: Can I still get away with wearing these in public?

Picture: My unshaven legs.
Caption: Don't judge me. I'm growing my winter coat.

When everyone's going around the table announcing what they're thankful for in a few days, keep the fact I don't have Instagram in mind just in case you can't come up with anything else.

You can find more from Toni Hammer at Is It Bedtime Yet, on Facebook, and on Twitter.