11/15/2007 11:37 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

One-Third of One Penny

The AMPTP took out a full-page ad today in the New York Times that convinces me that they have either completely lost their grip on our fact-based universe or they have absolutely no shame whatsoever.

As they are being pummeled in the public eye for their ridiculous and stupidly short-sighted greed (despite owning most of the major media outlets), I understand their need to try to generate sympathy. I really do. After all, Americans have a soft spot for the little guy, so when instead you're the morbidly obese, cannibalistic and cyclopean towering giant I can understand being a little sensitive about your reputation.

But still...this letter is jaw-dropping in its inanity. Here they go:

"It is important to make clear that writers currently do receive residuals for digital downloading (regardless of whether the download is temporary or permanent).

That means every time anyone pays for movies or television programs on the Internet or through other new media channels, writers are getting paid. So the notion that we are not sharing new media revenue with writers is simply not correct.

The Writers Guild is proposing to change the formulas for digital downloading. For electronic selI-through (like buying a movie on iTunes), the Guild is seeking at least a 700 percent increase over what writers currently receive, and more than a 200 percent increase over what they receive for Internet "pay per view." There is no way that these increases can be deemed reasonable."

Yikes! 700%! We writers are such greedy pigs! You're right AMPTP, there is no way that that increase is reasonable. We give up oh wise corporate wizards.

Oh, wait. You pay us now ONE-THIRD OF ONE PENNY of every dollar that you gross for a digital download of something that we wrote. The raise we're asking for is insane! We're asking for the moon! We're asking for gold-plated Rolex Daytona watches and a fractional share in your corporate jet every time somebody clicks on what we created.

We're asking for 2.5%.

Read more about the strike on the Huffington Post's writers' strike page.