01/22/2013 02:28 pm ET Updated Mar 24, 2013

Living a Meaningful Life

Every person has free will over what they choose to give their attention to. The biggest obstacle people have in leading self-actualized meaningful lives lies in what they are giving their attention to, what people tell themselves in the privacy of their own mind and inner self-narrative.

As a teacher and a healer, what I have learned is that not everyone who says they want to heal and be happy really means it. In order to achieve wholeness and personal happiness, people have to be willing to let go of their loyalty to stories of "not good enough" and "didn't do it right." They would have to stop defining themselves as lacking -- be it "not enough time," "not enough money," "not enough love," or "not enough opportunity."

Choosing the meaning behind what affects our lives is a skill like anything else that requires practice and patience. The more I exercise that free will muscle, the stronger and more healing those choices become in my life. Just as no one else can sleep for me, eat for me or exercise for me, finding the meaning that sets me free and empowers my personal experience of life is something that only I can decide.

There is no way a person can know themselves as the force of divine love they are and at the same time see themselves as defective, broke, unlovable, worthless, powerless or at the mercy of the world at large. In order to lead a meaningful life, you have to be willing to give your attention to what creates an enhanced sense of meaning in your life and be willing to let go of the rest. You cannot serve two masters: fear and love.

As Buddhist monk and poet, Thich Nhat Hanh says, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." Leading a meaningful life is an inside job. It starts with what you give your attention to. No one can create a meaningful life by giving attention to what robs their life of value and an intimacy with their own divinity.

Most people have a life-long practice of giving their power away by worshipping at the altar of what is limiting and devoid of a higher truth. A meaningful life starts with practicing taking your mind and your attention back. It starts with paying attention to how what you give your attention to makes you feel.

No one can take that away from you. If what you are giving your attention to is recreating meaningless suffering and unhappiness, stop! Put it down and use your free will to choose something else.

Join Vaishali and company March 22, 23 and 24 in Los Angeles on The Queen Mary at The Alive and Healthy Conference and Cure What Ails YOU!

For more by Vaishali, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.