04/09/2012 03:27 pm ET Updated Jun 09, 2012

'Is Don Draper Gonna Have to Choke a B***h?' Mad Men Channels Chappelle's Show and It's Awesome

CAUTION: If you haven't caught last night's Mad Men yet, don't proceed without knowing this is chock full of spoilers. OK, you've been warned...

I'm still trying to get over my summer breakup with The Walking Dead, and this video sent to me by one of my readers is helping to ease the pain and facilitate the transition from TWD to Mad Men. I think I've watched it three times now, so hilarious!

I missed last week since I was in Vegas and San Diego, so we've got two weeks to rehash, and we learned that producers decided to make Betty Francis fat in order to hide January Jones' super secret pregnancy. I'll tell you why this bothers me -- Betty Francis? Hyper-controlled, freakishly frigid Betty (Draper) Francis? I'm not buying it. I saw her going more the other route -- getting addicted to uppers or something -- that would be a lot more plausible than her letting herself get tubby like that.

How much do you LOVE Pamela Dunlap as Pauline Francis? She's made D-Listed's "Hot Slut of the Day", and for good reason -- her babysitting skills reminded me of my own mother -- scare the crap out of them with stories about serial killers then give them drugs so they pass out and stop bothering you. Sigh... memories.

We also got introduced to new characters: Michael Ginsburg, played by Cloverfield's Ben Feldman and Don's new secretary, Dawn Chambers, played by How Do You Know's Teyonah Parris. Now here's where I'm about to reveal how freakish I am with movie and TV knowledge and really need to get out more -- the past 2 weeks I've been thinking I recognized Feldman from The Sandlot -- totally thought he was the really sweet leader of the group, Benjamin Franklin Rodriquez, who I had a pre-teen crush on, turns out I was wrong. That was the elusive but still adorable Mike Vitar, who retired from acting in the late '90s.

No, my memory of Feldman goes much lamer -- he was Hillary Duff's romantic interest in the Duff/Heather Locklear/Mr. Big crapfest that was The Perfect Man, which I found myself watching a few months ago. I'm not proud. Am I the only one seriously annoyed by this guy Ginsburg? It's almost like now that Campbell's slightly less annoying they have to fill airtime with someone else more annoying than he was and I can't stand him.

I like Dawn, though. Did anyone think that Peggy was being pseudo-racist when she let Dawn stay with her and eyed her purse before going to bed? I'm sure that's what the implication was -- Peggy was doing the whole "I'm on your side, Girlfriend!" bit when in actuality she's still holding on to some prejudices -- but the only color I see is green. I don't care who you are -- if I barely know you I'm not leaving my purse lying around for you to rifle through. I'm just not that trusting -- although I would've been smoother about it -- she didn't have to eye her bag like that -- just scoop it up with the bottles on your way to the trash and take it to your room -- why would you leave your purse out anyway? But whatever, I get it -- they were trying to say that as far as people like Peggy have come in opening their minds, there's still a nagging feeling of discrimination lurking there.

Anyone else super happy that Joan finally kicked Greg to the curb? She found out during The Most Awkward Dinner Ever that he actually volunteered to go back and wasn't being forced to as he'd lead her to believe. He was unmotivated, boring, and she made the same mistake so many of us make -- she fell for what she thought was a hot surgeon who ended up just being a total loser. Her cut about the army making him feel more like a man was dead on. I can't WAIT to see the return of Big Red! She's the best character on the show, and yes I'm including Don Draper in that statement, as well. Hate on me if you want to, Draper's still a jerk.

Except now he's a "choke a b***h" jerk! How wild was that?? Do you think he was really hallucinating? Or is he going to get out of bed, look underneath and see her tucked away down there? Much like the shock of when we learned that Don's willing to rip a dead man's dog tags off his smoldering body to get out of war, we now know he's willing to kill in order to preserve the life he has with Megan. Speaking of the war, how come the whole "Don's a Deserter" thing never comes up? It's not like you can just un-write that -- or that he can undo his past. His being found out was such a huge deal -- now it's like no one cares. Maybe the Vietnam War is more important -- but I keep waiting for it to get brought up again and it's never mentioned anymore.

Also wondering what they're going to do with all these unused characters -- I barely saw Ken, Roger and Campbell last night -- they got like what, two lines a piece? And Campbell got maybe two scenes? And I didn't even see Pryce. Maybe the "Nurses-Only-Serial Killer" is going to break pattern and take a visit to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce to trim off some of the fat? Who'd you like to see go first?

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