by Juli Weiner, Vanity Fair
Politico published a list of "13 people to watch in politics in 2013"--a ragtag assembly of television executives (Jeff Zucker), incoming U.S. senators (Elizabeth Warren), Judd sisters (Ashley Judd), and failed 2012 vice presidential candidates (Paul Ryan). Read it! Or don't! Whatever.
But do read VF.com's corollary list of 13 People to Ignore in Politics in 2013. Which failed vice-presidential candidate made this list? Which, if any, Judd sister? And exactly how much does our Ignore-group overlap with Politico's pay-attention-to group? All is revealed below!
1. Sarah Palin. If something--literally anything, good or bad--happens, she will say something about it, and she will do it on Greta Van Susteren. The news value here is negligible.
2. John Boehner. The increasingly impotent House speaker will probably be out of a job as soon as his party can convince someone to volunteer to replace him.
3. Wynonna Judd. We just don't forecast the singer-songwriter behind 1996's "No One Else on Earth" to have much of an effect on the current legislative agenda.
4. Josh Romney's wife. Ignore her--that's what we always do.
5. Mitch McConnell. Guy's a loser.
6. Paul Ryan. Politico claims he has "countless debates on entitlements, spending and taxes to look forward to in the coming year." Is America really willing to pay attention to a guy who (allegedly) looks forward to "countless debates on entitlements"?
7. Jill Kelley's husband. Please just do him a favor and pretend you did not see that photo of him miserably attending to a broken, leaky grocery bag on his driveway.
8. Naomi Judd. If we're not paying attention to Wynonna we can't just treat Naomi any differently.
9. Grover Norquist. If leaders from both parties--and remember, a handful of Republicans aren't so wild about him!--sign a pledge never to raise. . . awareness of prepossessed libertarian Grover Norquist, maybe Americans for Tax Reform would not be such a thing anymore.
10. Your cappuccino. Your coffee sleeve is just not a tenable medium for informed discourse. It's just not.
11. Donald Trump. Less influential that each individual Judd sister, including half-sisters.
12. Newt Gingrich. It's been 14 years since Gingrich was essentially deposed from Congress and America has never welcomed any of his attempted returns. 14 more years! 14 more years!
13. Whichever magazine takes over for Newsweek as reigning cover-troll. (Looking at you, Time.) We already have zero Newsweeks--isn't that enough?
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