08/31/2012 02:34 pm ET Updated Oct 31, 2012

Celebrity Heckler Wanders Onto 2012 RNC Stage, Delivers Tirade to Chair

By William Dameron
The Authentic Life News

TAMPA -- In a shocking lapse of security, a heckler was permitted to take the stage of the 2012 Republican National Convention, where he delivered a 12-minute tirade directed to a chair. Perhaps more bizarre was the audience's reaction. "We love you, Clint" was followed by thunderous applause as the duped audience roared its approval.

In what is being hailed as perhaps his most daring and convincing role to date, as a bumbling old actor and Romney supporter, Mr. Eastwood, in his characteristic gravelly voice, had this to say: "It was like taking candy from a baby. I simply walked into the convention, and they [Republicans] were so shocked that a celebrity wanted to make a speech in support of Ol' Mitt [Romney] that they gave me carte blanche."

When further questioned about his perplexing speech, Mr. Eastwood said, "Look, I'm a method actor. Most of what I do is improvisation. I saw a chair backstage and thought to myself, 'I'll show them how stiff Mitt is by talking to a piece of wood.'"

Realization slowly dawned on the audience as Mr. Eastwood's rambling speech continued. But Mary Ann Weston, a delegate from Texas, remained unconvinced that he was indeed a heckler. "I knew he was pro-gay-marriage and pro-choice, but he carries a gun, which in my mind makes him a true American and trumps all that other stuff," she said.

The Ryan/Romney team could not be reached for comment, but Ann Romney had this to say: "I simply adore Clint and look forward to my appearance with him on an upcoming episode of Modern Family."

When Eastwood was asked if he thought he would get an Oscar nod for this performance, he uttered this characteristic phrase: "Go ahead, make my day."

William Dameron's personal blog is The Authentic Life.