12/17/2014 08:32 am ET Updated Feb 16, 2015

Holiday Cheers! A Rhyming Farewell to 2014

StockPhotoAstur via Getty Images

Happy hols to you all! Let good cheer abound.
The yule log is glowing, so gather around.
Think back on the year, while you warm up your toes,
It's time to reflect on the highs and the woes.
Snow on snow on snow on snow,
Maybe not for you, but for Buffalo.
Polar vortex, heatwave and drought,
Is this what climate change is all about?
For the GOP, the tidings are glad,
A mandate! Impeachment! Obama's been bad.
Coal in his stocking, trash Obamacare!
A Republican Senate, so turnabout is fair.
But wait -- Will POTUS halt deportation?
Flex his power, reform immigration?
Keep the net neutral? Stop the pipeline?
Is the emperor overreaching? We'll see in time.
Chris Christie's the GOP hope for '16 --
But Sandy's victims ask, where have you been?
And Bridgegate? Well, what goes comes around.
What's that you said? Shut up and sit down!
In Ferguson, Darren Wilson walks free,
Michael Brown lies cold, how can this be?
Curfews and soldiers and riot gear,
And vigils and looting and anger and fear.
These not-so-grand juries are hard to believe,
But videos don't lie: "I can't breathe!"
A germ in West Africa. For the poor innocent
Ebola victims, our prayers are sent.
Technologists amok? Sony hacked --
For Kim Jong-un, is this payback?
Uber snooping we cannot abide --
Sometimes a ride is more than a ride.
A terrible year for Malaysian Air --
Flight 370, no one knows where
It rests in the sea, and no one knows why.
Flight 17 we do know -- shot out of the sky.
In Ukraine, now a land torn asunder.
Crimea annexed, is it any wonder
That Kiev is looking off to the West,
While a bare-chested Putin is beating his chest?
In Nigeria's jungle, Boko Haram
Is kidnapping girls in the name of Islam.
In Levant, jihadist brutality,
Beheadings and terror made for TV.
Intelligence isn't looking so smart,
Torture got us nothing, though the CIA did its part:
Renditions and enhanced interrogation,
Redacted, of course -- don't embarrass the nation.
Hey, hey, hey, Fat Albert -- No, no, no!
Old Doc Huxtable's got to go.
No more excuses for the Cosby kid,
No more silence on what they say you did.
True Detective, pulp TV,
Kudos for Matthew McConaughey,
From Buyers' Club to Lincoln ad --
The McConaissance? It ain't just a fad.
More TV mayhem? How about Fargo?
House of Cards, how far will Frank go?
Carrie's in Islamabad,
A brilliant spy, and completely mad.
Are scientists the new stars of the silver screen?
Stephen Hawking thinking about everything?
Alan Turing deciphering code with his mind?
It's an enigma, these heroes of another kind.
Goodbye Garp, farewell Mork,
Mrs. Doubtfire, it's time, you can wrap up your work.
Popeye's last voyage, dead poets forlorn,
Good night, Vietnam, a genius we mourn.
For Marion Barry, the drum and the fife --
For some Washingtonians he was Mayor for Life.
Addiction? Redemption? Let's raise a cup
To the man who immortalized: "Bitch set me up!"
So long, Pete Seeger, finally overcome --
Where have all the folk singers gone?
Garcia Marquez, with magic imbued,
Discovering ice in that long solitude.
Maya Angelou, goodbye, you've flown your cage,
Mike Nichols, now seeking spiritual knowledge.
Philip Seymour Hoffman, farewell
Way too young to hear that bell.
Frozen! No, we can't let it go --
We need a stuffed Sven and an Elsa tote,
An Olaf quilt, a collectible Anna,
We want it all! We want it, Santa!
But wait! That's not the spirit of the season.
It's been a grim year, but that's no reason
To give up. Let's be thankful for the grace we've seen,
And look ahead with hope to 2015.