10/19/2010 05:21 pm ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

A Unique Approach to Peace

Who'da thunk it? We children of the peace movement had it all wrong. "Make love, not war" was the wrong motto. We should have gone for "Do you want fries with that?" instead.

Yup, it seems that Army recruiters are upset they're having to turn away "supersized" applicants -- a large number of potential recruits were rejected because they were overweight or obese.

Now, the head of the Army Recruiting Command is considering launching a "fat camp," a diet and fitness "school," to help wannabe soldiers take it off and meet Army standards for enlistment.

Obesity has become an epidemic in the U.S. -- and it may be the only weapon we really have against the manipulations and aggression of the military industrial complex's push for ongoing war and imperialism.

If the 80 percent of the U.S. population who are opposed to our wars become too heavy to fight, the military will quickly run out of soldiers able to meet the physical demands of service. Our Armed Forces will have to hang up their "covers" and come home. And, if we add a few extra calories to the catered meals of our elected officials, we might be able to redirect their vices from avarice to sloth. How much saner our foreign policies would be if our leaders argued about gourmet meals rather than territory.

Didn't your mother tell you to "eat, eat?" Clean your plate -- it's your duty. To your country, to its people. Who knew that fast food and trans fats might someday hold the key to world peace?