07/02/2010 11:56 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

It Takes 30 Days to Get Over a Man?!

I got a press release the other day -- subject line: On Shelves June/July 2010! Jaime Beckman's 'THE FRISKY 30-DAY BREAKUP GUIDE' BOOK LAUNCH... What?! It takes 30 days to get over a man?! Say it isn't so! I beg to differ. On the other hand, Jaime did end things with a man whom she once discussed cuts and carats of engagement rings with. Yikes! "It was hard even to think about going for a solo walk on a spring day," she says. "Everywhere I turned, there he was: at the hardware store where he'd made me a key to his apartment; at the park where we stopped to watch puppies play."

Oh, gawd. I can't even imagine.

Then, I chuckled. If I was asked what life is like for me post-breakup, I'd likely answer, "Ummm, well, I can finally eat whatever I want and not feel bad about it causing food to taste even better than before" or "I no longer have to be on the receiving end of a dead conversation, which has restored my very soul."

Jaime wrote chapters on how to cook yourself a delicious dinner (day 18) and grow a plant (day 28). (As if pre-breakup, you DIDN'T know how to do those things, woman??) And, that's when I really laughed my butt off. Doing those things won't make a heartbroken girl feel good! There's no solace in chores! Instead, make a cute boy take you out to dinner and smash a potted plant in the parking lot. Yeah, that's better.

You can also try my other methods:

* Wear the classiest (yet sexiest) outfit you have, walk down a crowded New York City street, and just catch stares.

* Go out dancing with your girlfriends for the purposes of -- well -- dancing without paying any attention to the gross boys lurking. Though if a cute one bites, go for it.

* Get back in the game and start dating. You probably won't be ready for a relationship for awhile, but going out and talking about yourself feels pretty freakin' awesome.

* Enjoy your alone time. You don't need to fill it with gardening and culinary arts per se. Just have fun being you again and doing what you like to do, and if that involves growing plants and cooking, then fine.

As for the healing taking 30 days... It really depends on the person and the situation, doesn't it? There's no real equation. There's no way to shave time off by following assignments in a book. You'll get over it when you get over it. In fact, my last breakup left me fine after 9 days, give or take an hour.