04/05/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Sitch by Situation (and Other Colognes Men Shouldn't Spray On Themselves)

The day has come—MTV's Jersey Shore stars are cashing in on their (10 minutes?) of fame. Not only are the castmates going to be paid $10,000 per episode each when season two starts up, business ventures are in progress.

Mike Sorrentino (a.k.a. "The Situation") and his six-pack abs, for instance, are coming out with a fragrance to be called Sitch. "The name is just, it's pretty cool. Who wouldn't buy a cologne called Sitch by Situation?" the personal trainer, 27, told Access Hollywood. "It's in the beginnings right now, but it should be coming out hopefully in the next couple months."

Hmmm—I wonder what Sitch will smell like? A combo of the gym and tanning lotion, with a hint of laundry, perhaps? Uhhh yeah, I don't want my boyfriend to smell like that. Plus, I'll be damned if he purchases a fragrance created by The Situation—regardless of nose appeal.

And while we're at it, here are other colognes I'd never want him to spray on himself:

Unforgivable by Sean John: Contrary to what Diddy would like men to believe, I don't want my guy to think this scent gives him a free pass to make mistakes.

Jordan by Michael Jordan: Sweat comes to mind. Sorry, athletes and Michael Jordan fans!

Spirit by Antonio Banderas: Both he and his fragrance are so 1990s. If my guy wears this cologne, that's it, I'm bringing back Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth.

Mojo by Austin Powers: I want nothing to do with this. I saw the movie, and no, he did not make me horny, baby.

Luckily, my boyfriend wears Emporio Armani by Giorgio Armani. (Okay, so, my dad wears the same fragrance, but that's a whole other problem.)

I wonder if Sitch will sell...