THE BLOG
12/05/2014 11:58 am ET Updated Feb 04, 2015

Side Chick Complains: "He's Disrespectful During the Holidays"

I'll allow you a moment or two to wrap your brain around that title you've just read.

Yes, the Side Chick, aka the willing Mistress of an unavailable man, has complained that her man acted shady during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Here is the question recently submitted to our relationship chat.

Don't judge me. I've been in a relationship with a man who is married, for 3 ½ years. Our tradition is that he has an early evening dinner with his family, and then he spends Thanksgiving NIGHT with me. This Thanksgiving I prepared his favorite meal and waited for him but he didn't show. He didn't call. And when I called him, his phone went straight to voicemail. I was worried sick about him. And I was this/close to driving past his house just to see if his car was there. Imagine my shock when he called the following day like nothing ever happened! I am very patient with him, given our circumstances, but I feel it was DISRESPECTFUL for him to stand me up on our Thanksgiving night. So my question is, at what point is waiting around for him disrespectful?

As you can imagine, frank responses poured in, and continued on our Facebook page hours after the relationship chat ended. I was pleasantly surprised by how respectful most of the commenters were.

Here are a few of the tough love responses that are sure to resonate with someone out there who may experience the same feelings of disrespect when Christmas rolls around.

Keion Martin: "Find someone that wants to spend the holidays with you only, no secrets, no lies, no hiding and you wouldn't have this problem."

Ketty Joazard Gelin: "Disrespectful? Where's the respect for his wife and family? And most importantly, where's your dignity and self-respect?"

Pam Lynch Durham: "My momma would say if they do it with you they will do it to you."

Nicola Dennis-Brown: It's NEVER disrespectful because YOU'RE THE OTHER WOMAN! You don't get to pick and choose when, where, how, and why!"

Tracy Williams: "It became DISRESPECTFUL when you entered the equation and realized he had a wife."

Dayna Mishel Smith: "You're the side chick you can have no expectations; you have agreed to take what he gives you; the leftovers."

Shelvia Stewart: "Stop being the other woman. Get into a relationship where you are first and spend your time with him on the holidays... the cosmos will always set things right in the universe."

By the way, if you know a woman in a complicated situationship, pick up the phone and check on her; the holiday season can wreak havoc on her heart and ego, especially if she's spending it alone.