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March 3, 2015

62 Takeaways From CPAC 2015, Ranked

Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.

House Releases Hostage, Funds DHS Without Immigration Measures

House Funding Dhs
Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images

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O'Malley Out.. Boehner Caves.. SCOTUS Doubts.. Big Carson Move.. Trump 2016 Talk.. Christie Move

DOJ: Ferguson Cops Routinely Discriminate Against Minorities

Ferguson Police
Scott Olson via Getty Images

Hillary Clinton Only Used Private E-Mail As Secretary Of State

Hillary Clinton
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Iran: Netanyahu Speech 'Boring And Repetitive"


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ISIS' Marriage Trap.. China's 'Inconvenient Truth'.. NFL Stars In Turkey!.. Manufacture Desire.. 6,000+

Obamacare Is Back At The Supreme Court. These Lives Hang In The Balance

Entry Pic
Huffington Post

The Twisted, Tortured Path Obamacare Took To The Court

'She Should Just Be Silent And Allow The Rape'

Mukesh Singh
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

Apple Slaps Samsung In Major Milestone

Apple Beat Samsung Sales
PHILIPPE HUGUEN via Getty Images

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Waze Amber Alerts.. Phone Battery Poll.. New BlackBerry.. Lenovo Investigated.. Google's Cellular Plan

Georgia Halts Executions Over Drug Controversy

Georgia Executions

I've Never Smoked Pot. Here's What Happened When I Tried To Get It Legally In D.C.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd via Getty Images

Petraeus To Plead Guilty

David Petraeus
FREDERIC J. BROWN via Getty Images

Here Are The States Where Obamacare Subsidies Could Disappear

The Huffington Post

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Courting Disaster.. Big Costco Change.. Best Business States.. Aetna's CEO Mantra.. Apple Pay Scam

LISTEN: 'Jihadi John' Talks About 9/11


How Republicans Could Cut Food Stamps This Year

Tom Price
Bill Clark via Getty Images

Slain Putin Critic Laid To Rest

ALEXANDER UTKIN via Getty Images

New Audio, Video Cast Doubt On Bill O'Reilly's Reporting Claims

Bill Oreilly
NBC NewsWire via Getty Images

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TV News' Diversity Problem.. PR KILLING Journalism.. First Look TELL-ALL.. 'SNL' ISIS Skit..

NCAA On Academic Fraud At NCAA Schools: Not Our Problem!

Ncaa Logo

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Company Disses NCAA.. Durant Left Hanging.. 'I'll F**king Kill You'.. D-Rose's New Inspirational Video

Ben Carson Launches Presidential Exploratory Committee

Ben Carson

'Last Chance' To Save The World's Rarest Porpoises


Here's One Simple Way We Can Change The Conversation About Drug Abuse

AFP via Getty Images

Iran Calls Obama Demand 'Unacceptable'


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ISIS' Marriage Trap.. China's 'Inconvenient Truth'.. NFL Stars In Turkey!.. Manufacture Desire.. 6,000+

Lawyer Files Ballot Initiative In California In Hopes Of Killing All Gays

Hand Holding Gun
Ykoylu via Getty Images

More Gay Voices
Gay Men And Eating Disorders.. Texas Gets Things Wrong On Marriage.. Butch Lesbian Problems

Mesmerizing Pictures Of The Volcano Eruption Causing Chaos In Chile

Villarrica Volcano

This Is What Wildlife Crime Looks Like (GRAPHIC)

Brent Stirton via Getty Images

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

Lawsuit Claims Cop Forced Woman To Have Sex With Him To Avoid Arrest

Jerame Reid

Jon Stewart Reveals What's 'Clogging Our Legislative Plumbing'

Boehner Jon Stewart
Comedy Central

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Funny Texting Pranks.. John Oliver Rant.. SNL Cut This 'Fifty Shades' Sketch.. #WeaselPecker Meme

How 'Melissa Harris-Perry' Beat Out The Other Sunday News Shows On Diversity

Melissa Harrisperry
NBC via Getty Images

Mommy Blogger Found Guilty Of Poisoning Son

Lacey Spears

Fierce Clashes As Iraq Tries To Oust ISIS Fighters From Tikrit

AHMAD AL-RUBAYE via Getty Images

Susan Rice Delivers Tough Love About Iranian Nuclear Negotiations


Prosecutors Seek Death Penalty Against Chapel Hill Shooting Suspect

AP/Durham County Sheriff's Office

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Mommy Blogger.. 'Baby Boxes'.. Cop Arrested For Soliciting Women.. Kids In Cage.. Adderall Arrest

How Climate Change Was Partly Responsible For The Crisis In Syria

Syrian Conflict
izustun via Getty Images

Police Chief: Homeless Man Fatally Shot By LAPD Reached For Cop's Gun


Diplomacy With Iran Is A Tough Sell

Bloomberg via Getty Images

Iran To U.S.: Lift The Sanctions!

Students Find Teacher Hanging Inside Classroom

Jillian Jacobson

City Of Cleveland Apologizes For Blaming Tamir Rice For His Own Fatal Shooting

Tamir Rice Death Probe

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'Black Future Month'.. Kid Rock Vs. Beyhive.. Locs.. Mo'Nique Talks Being 'Blackballed'

Police: Man's Facebook Plea Over 'Kidnapping' A Hoax



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The Problem With 'Last Man On Earth' No One Is Talking About

Last Man On Earth

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Changes Coming To 'Downton'?.. 'Style' Boy.. Big Willie.. Mumford Return.. 'HoC' Breakout.. SNL

Nuns Explain What The Vow Of Chastity Really Means

Studio-Annika via Getty Images

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Eating Disorders & Your Brain.. Real-Life Saul Goodmans.. 'Bitch' Stereotype.. 'Maps To The Stars'

About This Photo Of A Baby Weasel Flying On A Woodpecker...

Woodpecker Weasel
Martin Le-May

3 Vile Myths Food Companies Are Shoving Down Our Throats

Farm Corn
Emilio Ereza via Getty Images

Jon Stewart Kicked A Wrestler In The Groin Last Night

Jon Stewart Wwe Fight
WWE / YouTube

Confessions From A Flawed Animal Advocate

Cheese Board
Tannis Toohey via Getty Images

Best. Coffee. News. Ever.

Coffee Cup

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Prioritizing Sleep.. Part-Time Job.. Make Better Decisions.. Toothbrushing Mistake.. YouTube Yoga

I Don't Want Children -- Ever

Jordan Siemens via Getty Images

Why Men Touch Women's Bodies Without Asking

Travolta Menzel
ROBYN BECK via Getty Images

The Best Burger In Every State In America

Best Burgers In America
Shutterstock/Jennifer Bui

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Fried Egg Font.. Bacon Crackers.. Does A Wine's Age Matter.. Mint Chocolate Recipes.. Babka Breads

We KNEW We Recognized Her From Somewhere...

Jurnee Smollett Jussie Smollett
Jason LaVeris via Getty Images

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'Adventure Time'.. Craziest 'GoT' Theories.. 'HoC'.. 'Downton' Star Leaving?.. Leonard Nimoy.. 'HTGAWM'

Score Free Pancakes At IHOP Today!

Ihop Free Pancakes

9 Foods That Keep You Feeling Full Longer

Yogurt Berries
ozgurcoskun via Getty Images

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Warren Buffett's Secret To Long Life.. How To Retire Abroad.. Top Sex Toys.. Judi Dench.. Melanie Griffith

BIG Misconception About Pregnancy Busted

Kate Middleton Hair

Real-Life Frank Underwoods

House Of Cards Kevin Spacey

Face Serum, Explained

Woman Face Mirror
PhotoAlto via Getty Images

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Ms. Wintour Unplugged.. Neon Nails.. Say It Ain't Khlo, E!.. We <3 Milan Fashion Week.. Blackface Again!

Dissident Artist Ai Weiwei Finds Freedom In Alcatraz

Dragon Front
Diana Sheehan

5 Items In Your Home That Can Make You Money

Regis Martin via Getty Images

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'House Of Cards' Sale.. Martha Says.. How To Clean Cast Iron.. DIY Avocados.. Tour JFK's Home

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San Francisco
Getty Images

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The 'Hot Convict' Is Going To Be A Model After Prison

Jeremy Meeks

Retelling A Classic Novel From A Woman's Perspective

Henry Holt & Company

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Elena Ferrante.. How Art Can Sharpen Your Mind.. Dr. Seuss.. Veronica Roth.. New J.K. Rowling

The Best Workout For People With Diabetes

Running Treadmill
YanLev via Getty Images

Another Street Artist May Have Vandalized A National Park


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Feminist African Artists.. Art World Sexism.. Zoetropes As Art.. Contemporary Ceramicists.. Puppets!

Mysterious Coffin Buried Near 'Crooked King' Yields Big Surprise

Double Coffin Richard Iii

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Smallest Form Of Life.. Long-Lost Fortress Found.. Hawking's Big Warning.. New View Of Deep Space

Here Are The Top 10 Part-Time Jobs For 2015

Parttime Job
Garry Gay via Getty Images

SERIOUSLY?!?: Man Gets Tattoo Of #TheDress On His Leg

The Dress

More Weird
Kentucky Smells.. Weed In Sour Cream.. Unsurprising DWI Arrest.. Man Fails To Steal Plane

'House Of Cards' Townhouse (Kind Of) Hits The Market

House Of Cards

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'House Of Cards' Sale.. Martha Says.. How To Clean Cast Iron.. DIY Avocados.. Tour JFK's Home

$4.8 Million In Gold Bars Stolen In Elaborate Armored Truck Heist

Gold Bars
Bloomberg via Getty Images

WATCH: Kelly Clarkson And Jimmy Fallon Sing All Your Favorite Duets


5 Dinners That Practically Cook Themselves

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Signe Birck

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