iOS app Android app More
September 3, 2014

Barack Obama and the Misery of His Augusts, Ranked

The thing is, it may be possible to develop a strategy for ISIS, but there truly is no strategy for August, the Gregorian calendar's most inglorious month. August is, first and foremost, the supposed "slow news month" that almost never, ever ends up being slow. But it's distinct in other ways beyond that. It's not necessarily the most dangerous month or the saddest month or the most tragic month. Rather, it's a cruel month, where boredom and anomie seem to combine in a way that breeds sociopathy. At any rate, chances are Obama no longer looks forward to August at all because of the six Augusts he's had in the White House, at least three were out-and-out horror shows. Here is the definitive ranking of the president's Augusts, from best to worst.

ISIS Allegedly Beheads Another American Journalist

Sotloff

Threatens Life Of British Citizen... READ: Steven Sotloff's Work...

The Real Aim Of ISIS Is More Catastrophic Than What We Have Seen

Islamic State Militants Verified
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More WorldPost
Afghan Crisis.. Fierce Syrian Fighting.. N. Korea Plea.. Week's Best Photos.. ISIS Mocked.. Early Ebola

Obama To Send More Troops To Iraq

Obama
NICHOLAS KAMM via Getty Images

More Politics
Senate Nail-Biter.. Tea Party To Cantor: Told Ya So.. GOPer At Odds.. Scalia Flap.. 'Cynical' GOP Plan

REPORTS: Broncos Star Suspended After Taking Molly At Kentucky Derby

Wes Welker
John Leyba via Getty Images

More Sports
Late Night.. Combined No-Hitter.. Serena Cruises.. Good Advice.. Surfing Legend.. NFL Arrest

REPORT: McKayla Maroney Was Underage In Hacked Nude Photos

Mckayla Maroney Underage Nude Photos
Slaven Vlasic via Getty Images

Apple: Don't Blame Us!... Everything We Know About The Hacker...

3 Dead in S.C. Shooting Rampage; Gunman Kills Self

South Carolina Shooting
Greenville Online

EARLIER: 3 Dead, 2 Injured In Kansas Shooting Spree

Ted Cruz's Dad: 'Average Black' Doesn't Know Minimum Wage Is Bad

Ted Cruz
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Former U.S. Senators Now Shilling For Putin

Trent Lott
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Girl Who Accidentally Killed Instructor Said Uzi Was Too Much For Her

Shooting

More Crime
Parade Shooting Already.. Can't Stop Thinking About Victims.. Ferguson Is Rallying Cry.. Plane Crash

Jury Decides McDonnell's Fate

Bob Mcdonnell
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Yet Another Bad Grade For The Education Department

Arne Duncan
Neilson Barnard via Getty Images

REPORTS: Dallas Cowboys To Bring On Michael Sam

Michael Sam
Joel Auerbach via Getty Images

Jenny Sanford Demands Ex-Husband Undergo Psych Exam

Jenny Sanford
Steve Fenn via Getty Images

Popular Conservative Talking Point Debunked

Polar Vortex Satellite
Handout via Getty Images

More Green
Halliburton Pays.. Great Barrier Reef Threat.. Water Shortages.. Radioactive Waste Trains?.. Fracking

Another Flight Diverted Over Reclining Seat Fight

Plane Seat
ODD ANDERSEN via Getty Images

More Travel
Fall Getaways.. Hawaiian Street View.. Beachy Drives.. Berlin No-Nos.. Green Beach.. Dream Trip Reality!

College Decided Community Service Too 'Punitive' For Rape Punishment

'Nightmarish,' Cannibalistic Cricket Invading Eastern U.S.

Greenhouse Camel Cricket
Andrew Blanchard/Epps et al

Paul Ryan Blames Obama For Rise Of ISIS

Paul Ryan
John Gress via Getty Images

Rand Paul Goes 'War-Hawk' After Criticizing Hillary For The Same

Rand Paul
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Obama Has A California Problem

Obama
Alex Wong via Getty Images

Dem, Independent Team Up To Oust Incumbent In Alaska

Sean Parnell
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Congresswoman Who Lost Both Her Legs In Iraq Announces Pregnancy

Tammy Duckworth
ASSOCIATED PRESS

GOP Called Out For 'Empty' Birth Control Proposal

Birth Control Pill
Hemera Technologies via Getty Images

Anti-Abortion Leader Admits New Clinic Laws Are Not About Safety

Carol Tobias
Alex Wong via Getty Images

ON THE BLOG
A New Cold War Is Now Inevitable

Putin
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Joan Rivers Still On Life Support

Joan Rivers
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Town Shocked By Revelation Of Rampant Child Sexual Abuse

Rotherham England
Christopher Furlong via Getty Images

Horrifying... Cops Said 12-Year-Old's Rape Was '100 Percent Consensual'... REPORT: Called Victims 'Tarts'...

Another NYPD-Related Death Ruled A Homicide

176420210
Spencer Platt via Getty Images

More Black Voices
Film You Need To See.. Ferguson Cop Resigns.. LAPD Shooters Named.. Don't Shoot Song

Financial Crisis Villain Unclear Why Everybody's So Mad At Him

Angelo Mozilo
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Another American Doctor Infected With Ebola

American Doctor Ebola
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Aid Group: World 'Losing The Battle'... Video: Ebola Patient Flees Quarantine...

Black Activist Arrested For Distributing Voting Rights Information

Turner
Youtube

Map Illustrates Bank's Alleged Racist Mortgage Policies

Evans Bank
Evans Bank

More Business
Racist Bank.. Fastest Growing Jobs.. Fast Food Strikes.. LA Wage Hike.. Very Sketchy, Burger King

REPORT: Home Depot May Have Been Hit By Hackers

Home Depot
Chris So via Getty Images

Nail-Biter Ahead In The Senate

Senate Polls
MANDEL NGAN via Getty Images

Follow HuffPost

    1. HuffPost
    1. HuffPost
    1. Most Popular on HuffPost
    2. Latest News
    3. View all RSS feeds

What Life Is Like For 9/11 Widow Whose Spending Spree Sparked Outrage

Kathy Trant 911 Widow On Oprah
Harpo Studios/OWN

More OWN
Fastest Brunch Recipes.. Why Your Home Looks Messy.. Break Emotional Eating.. Brené Brown

WATCH: Singer Behind '90s Hit Opens Up About Living With Depression

Shawn Colvin
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More HuffPost Live
Children Of LGBT Parents.. Interracial Friendship.. Power Of Black Voters.. The Inventor Of Email

CAUGHT ON VIDEO: 'Mickey Mouse' Beats Motorist In Bizarre Road Rage Incident

Road Rage
YouTube

More Weird
Murder Most FOWL.. Robber Forgot Kid?.. 'World's Saddest Cat'.. Dad Pranks Son.. Bad Speed Trap

That Controversial 'Game Of Thrones' Scene Is Actually Going To Happen

Lena Headey
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

More TV
Biggest TV Lies.. New On Netflix.. Saved By The Bell News.. GoT Scoop.. New Downton Abbey Trailer

WHAT?!: Malaysia Airlines Launches 'Bucket List' Contest

Malaysia Airlines
KOEN VAN WEEL via Getty Images

He Dropped 1 Letter On His Resume. Suddenly, Everyone Wanted Him

Jos Zamora
YouTube / Buzzfeed Yellow

More Latino Voices
Why Open Borders Make Sense.. Changing Lives.. Stars Who Aren't Hypersexualized On TV

Facebook Photo Leads Siblings To Reunite After Half A Century Apart

Reunited 2
SWNS

More Good News
Reese's Throwback.. Girl Raises Funds For Vet.. Giant Men Meet Tiny Kittens.. Tebow 'Touchdown'

Man Who Made ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Go Viral Becomes A Dad

Pete Frates
Boston Globe via Getty Images

Every Girl Should Know These Things. Every Single One

Anna Akana
YouTube

More Teen
7 Places To Meet College Friends.. Every Teen Needs This Therapy.. Why Hashtags Matter

How To Keep Your iPhone Photos Safe, In 3 Steps

Turn Off Icloud
Apple

Why Celebrities Are Ridiculously Easy To Hack

The Entire Argument For Blaming Sexters, Destroyed In 1 Tweet

Jennifer Lawrence
Eric Charbonneau/Invision/AP

More Tech
Hyperlapse WOW.. iPhone 6 Leaked.. Amazon Update.. Old People Use Oculus Rift.. Cyber Attacks

'Magical' 6th Century Christian Amulet Discovered In University Library

Early Christian Charm
University of Manchester

More Religion
Women Faith Leaders.. Interfaith Soccer.. Ganesh Chaturthi.. ISIS vs Islam.. Jewish Photos.. Jains..

Happy Accident Leads To 'Really Significant' Stonehenge Discovery

Aerial Stonehenge
David Goddard via Getty Images

More Science
Space Geckos' End.. Bill Nye, POTUS?.. Universe A Hologram?.. Magnets vs. Memory Ills.. Earth's Inside

Louis C.K. Was Right About The Cloud All Along

Louis
YouTube

Portraits Unveil The Sexual Lives Of People With Disabilities (NSFW)

Lady

More Arts
Female Portraits Over Time.. Art And The Achievement Gap.. Why Dance Needs More Body Love..

You Cannot Unsee The Air Sex World Championships (NSFW VIDEO)

Air Sex
air sex world championship

11 Marriage Regrets From The Divorced

Divorce
CSA Images via Getty Images

More Divorce
1D Lyrics Pickup Lines.. Short Men Divorce Less.. Good Advice.. Avoid This Mistake.. Marriage Regrets

There's A New 'Frozen' Short Film Coming To Theaters

Disney Frozen Elsa
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Entertainment
Artists To Watch.. Chris Pratt Reigns.. New Kanye Track.. Nude Pics Under Fire.. Magic Mike FTW

Elsa Takes On Storybrooke In New 'OUAT' Trailer

Frozen
ABC

The Biebs Was Arrested AGAIN

Justin Bieber Arrested
Araya Diaz via Getty Images

More Celebrity
Perfect, LC.. Ugh, Cee Lo!.. Sexy Nic.. Surprise, Diaz!.. Britney Talks Cheating.. Celebs' Actual Names

What Neuroscience Has To Say About The 'Tortured Genius'

Creativity Mental Illness
Fotos International via Getty Images

More Healthy Living
Lasting Weight Loss.. Rock Climbing.. Fitness Slump.. Give Yoga Another Try.. Light At Night

John Oliver And Cookie Monster Deliver The News

John Oliver Cookie Monster
Mashable

More Comedy
19 Benefits Of Autumn.. Louis C.K. Was Right.. Tailpipe Party?.. Oliver vs. YouTube.. New Autocorrects

Beloved Physicist's Famous Lectures Now Available For Free

Richard Feynman
Joe Munroe via Getty Images

The Moment An Alzheimer's Patient Remembers Her Daughter Will Melt Your Heart

Alzheimers
Youtube/Kelly Gunderson

More Fifty
Stop Stress Eating.. Sexual Fantasies.. Menopause Myths.. Richard Gere.. Spots To Retire Abroad.. Go Gray

Couple Stranded On Sailboat For Week After Captain's Bold Move

Stranded On Sailboat
U.S. Coast Guard

11 Mysterious Objects On Mars That Aren't What They Seem

Mars Lady
NASA/JPL-Caltech/Cornell University

Guys, Here's How To Properly Care For Your Beard

Beard
be happy via Getty Images

More Style
White After Labor Day.. Kate & Cara Get Cozy.. Lobster Tail Hair Twist.. What Our Editors Want For Fall

REVEALED: How They Get Fortunes Into Fortune Cookies

Fortune Cookie
mayalain via Getty Images

More Taste
Jaw-Dropping Homemade Burritos.. $169 Hot Dog.. Meatless Recipes.. Red Bean Ice Cream

Your Friends Affect Your Health A Lot More Than You Think

Friends
Ablestock.com via Getty Images

Texas Firefighters Rescued Heart Attack Victim. What They Did Next Will Make You Weep

Firefighter
Facebook