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March 3, 2015

62 Takeaways From CPAC 2015, Ranked

Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.

Huge Stakes As Supreme Court Takes Aim At Obamacare

Obamacare Supreme Court Arguments
ennis Brack/Bloomberg via Getty Images

States Could Be Devastated... Obamacare's Tortured Path To Court...

THE END: House Caves In Homeland Security Fight With Obama

House Funding Dhs
Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images

More Politics
Walker Drama.. Graham Cheap Shot.. O'Malley Out.. Bombshell Report Disputed.. Pelosi: 'Near Tears'

Alabama Supreme Court Blocks Same-Sex Marriages

Roy Moore Alabama
Matthew Cavanaugh via Getty Images

DOJ: Ferguson Cops Routinely Discriminate Against Black Residents

Ferguson
Scott Olson via Getty Images

REPORT: Brian Williams May Be On His Way Back To NBC News

Brian Williams Nbc
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Media
TV News' Diversity Problem.. PR KILLING Journalism.. First Look TELL-ALL.. 'SNL' ISIS Skit..

Bombshell New York Times Report On Hillary Clinton Email Account Disputed

Hillary Clinton
Justin Sullivan via Getty Images

Massive Operation Is The Most Critical And Complex Battle With ISIS Yet

Tikrit
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More WorldPost
ISIS' Marriage Trap.. China's 'Inconvenient Truth'.. NFL Stars In Turkey!.. Manufacture Desire.. 6,000+

Young Scientists Face The Worst Research Funding In 50 Years

Science Experiment Explosion
ASSOCIATED PRESS

How 'The Joy Of Cooking' Explains The Absurdity Of The Obamacare Lawsuit

Supreme Court Justices
ASSOCIATED PRESS

The Major Scott Walker Story You May Have Missed

Scott Walker
ASSOCIATED PRESS

If They Can't Do It, Can Any College Handle Campus Rape Justly?

Grinnellprotest
Courtesy of Dissenting Voices

Feds Raid Alleged 'Maternity Hotels' That Help Asian Women Give Birth In U.S.

Maternity Tourism
ASSOCIATED PRESS

NFL Champs Announce They're Donating Their Brains To Science

Skull Brain Scan
BSIP via Getty Images

Bill Cosby Accuser In 2005 Case Reveals Details Of Alleged Assault

Bill Cosby
Gerardo Mora via Getty Images

Marathon Bombing Trial Begins: Survivors Remember The Day Everything Changed

Boston Strong
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Crime
Mommy Blogger.. 'Baby Boxes'.. Cop Arrested For Soliciting Women.. Kids In Cage.. Adderall Arrest

Father Accuses 'Jihadi John' Of Being A 'Dog' And 'Terrorist'

Jihadi John
DANIEL SORABJI via Getty Images

Target To Cut Thousands Of Jobs

Target Logo
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Business
Courting Disaster.. Big Costco Change.. Best Business States.. Aetna's CEO Mantra.. Apple Pay Scam

Scott Walker Pumps Up Anti-Abortion Cred By Backing 20-Week Ban

Scott Walker
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Did He Lie To Congress? Bibi's Speech Fact-Checked

Netanyahu
Win McNamee via Getty Images

What Prominent Israelis Thought Of Netanyahu's Speech

Lindsey Graham Took A Cheap, Sexist Shot At Nancy Pelosi

Lindsey Graham
MANDEL NGAN via Getty Images

Arrest Made In Islan Nettles' Killing

Beating
Linkedin

Government Leaves Native American Schools In Abysmal Condition

Bunkbed
Government Accountability Office

Winter's Wrath Continues

Nws
NWS

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

Snowden In Talks To Return To U.S.

Edward Snowden
Adam Berry via Getty Images

Obamacare Is Back At The Supreme Court. These Lives Hang In The Balance

Entry Pic
Huffington Post

Man Says He Could Be Etan Patz

Etan Patz
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Officials Release Details Of Homeless Man Killed By LAPD

Lapd Shooting
Facebook/Anthony Blackburn

Iran: Netanyahu Speech 'Boring And Repetitive"

Rouhani
ASSOCIATED PRESS

'She Should Just Be Silent And Allow The Rape'

Mukesh Singh
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

Here's What Happened When I Tried To Get Pot Legally In D.C.

Marijuana
Wavebreakmedia Ltd via Getty Images

GOP Sets Up Another Clash With Obama Over Iran Deal

Mitch Mcconnell
Win McNamee via Getty Images

Petraeus To Plead Guilty To Giving Classified Information To Lover

David Petraeus
FREDERIC J. BROWN via Getty Images

Religious Leaders See Delayed Execution As Act Of God

Kelly
Kelly Gissendaner - kellyonmymind/ Facebook

EARLIER: Execution Halted Over Problems With Lethal Injection Drug

Domestic Violence Survivor Found Guilty Of Child Abduction For Fleeing With Daughter, May Be Deported

Hurt Woman
Yuichiro Chino via Getty Images

Tennessee Bill Bans Nonexistent Muslim 'No-Go Zones'

Tennessee Capitol Building
Visions of America via Getty Images

Apple Trounces Samsung In Major Milestone

Apple Beat Samsung Sales
PHILIPPE HUGUEN via Getty Images

More Tech
Waze Amber Alerts.. Phone Battery Poll.. New BlackBerry.. Lenovo Investigated.. Google's Cellular Plan

This Is What Wildlife Crime Looks Like (GRAPHIC)

Gorilla2wwd
Brent Stirton via Getty Images

Students Find Teacher Hanging Inside Classroom

Jillian Jacobson
KTLA

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About This Photo Of A Baby Weasel Flying On A Woodpecker...

Woodpecker Weasel
Martin Le-May

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

Does Your Beer Make You Look Snooty?

Craft Beer
pyzata via Getty Images

More HuffPost Live
Congress Reacts To Netanyahu.. Herpes Vaccine.. Food Poisoning Causes.. Banks Fear Attack

And The Average Penis Size Is...

Average Penis Length
RapidEye via Getty Images

More Science
Smallest Form Of Life.. Long-Lost Fortress Found.. Hawking's Big Warning.. New View Of Deep Space

3 Vile Myths Food Companies Are Trying To Sell You

Farm Corn
Emilio Ereza via Getty Images

Mt. Everest Is Covered In Human Poop, And That's a Problem

Mt Everest
RM Nunes Photography via Getty Images

More Weird
Kentucky Smells.. Weed In Sour Cream.. Unsurprising DWI Arrest.. Man Fails To Steal Plane

The Epic Battle Of Dogs Vs. Imaginary Doors

Dogs Vs Imaginary Doors
YouTube

More Good News
NYPD Honors Girl.. Tiny Home, Giant Journey.. Final Salute For K-9.. Deputies Save Boy's Birthday

STUNNING

Lily James
Getty Images

More Style
Ms. Wintour Unplugged.. Neon Nails.. Say It Ain't Khlo, E!.. We <3 Milan Fashion Week.. Blackface Again!

Squirrels Playing With Snowballs Could Not Be Any Cuter

Squirrel
Vadim Trunov/Solent News

More Good News
NYPD Honors Girl.. Tiny Home, Giant Journey.. Final Salute For K-9.. Deputies Save Boy's Birthday

Jimmy Kimmel Gives Anti-Vaxxers A Taste Of Their Own Medicine

Kimmel
ABC

More Comedy
Funny Texting Pranks.. John Oliver Rant.. SNL Cut This 'Fifty Shades' Sketch.. #WeaselPecker Meme

Watch Out For This Common Happy Hour Pitfall

Drinking With Friends
Uwe Krejci via Getty Images

More Healthy Living
Prioritizing Sleep.. Part-Time Job.. Make Better Decisions.. Toothbrushing Mistake.. YouTube Yoga

A Reminder That Race Is Made Up

Twins
WorldWide Features/Barcroft/Landov

More Black Voices
'Black Future Month'.. Kid Rock Vs. Beyhive.. Locs.. Mo'Nique Talks Being 'Blackballed'

4-Year-Old With Terminal Cancer FaceTimes With Taylor Swift

Jalene Salinas
Facebook

More Celebrity
Carrie's Cute Baby.. OOPS, Brit!.. Kim K's Piano Lessons.. Hi There, DJ Jon.. Gaga's Love Advice

Babka Recipes For Days

Babka
The Bojon Gourmet

More Taste
Fried Egg Font.. Bacon Crackers.. Does A Wine's Age Matter.. Mint Chocolate Desserts.. Pancakes

Nuns Explain What The Vow Of Chastity Really Means

Nun
Studio-Annika via Getty Images

More Religion
#MeetAMuslimFamily.. Churches Grapple With Gay Members.. Controversial Idaho Hindu Prayer

9 Places That Are Surprisingly Cheap This Year

Santiago Chile
Walter Bibikow via Getty Images

More Travel
Colorful Spots.. Cuba To Dos.. Nuclear Theme Park.. Carhenge.. Best Beach EVER.. Airport Drinking 101

Curt Schilling Gets Twitter Troll Who Terrorized His Daughter Fired

Curt Schilling
ASSOCIATED PRESS

See The First Photo Of Joseph Gordon-Levitt As Edward Snowden

Joseph Gordonlevitt
John Sciulli via Getty Images

More Entertainment
Maggie Leaving 'Downton'?.. 'HoC' Breakouts.. Britney Mishap.. 'Community' Trailer.. Kanye

Wizards Apologize For Odd Black History Month Campaign

Kingleonsis
Washington Wizards

Why You Should Have More Sex With Your Spouse

Couple Sex
MilosStankovic via Getty Images

More Weddings
Wedding Dress 101.. #TheDress Was Mother Of Bride.. Wife Hates Joking.. What All Guests Want..

A Simple Exercise That Can Help You Be Happier In 4 Days

Woman Happier
Ezra Bailey via Getty Images

More OWN
Liz Taylor's Topless Pics.. Crazy Easy Dinners.. Hoda's Fashion Confession.. Healthy Pancake Recipe

Adorable Photo Proves Grandpa Ozzy Is No Longer 'The Prince Of Darkness'

Ozzy
Instagram/Jack Osbourne

More Fifty
Warren Buffett's Secret To Long Life.. How To Retire Abroad.. Top Sex Toys.. Judi Dench.. Melanie Griffith

LISTEN: Foul-Mouthed Kid Just Wants His $^%& Cartoons Back

Temper Tantrum Boy
Fuse via Getty Images

NBA Dancer Makes Backward Half-Court Shot Like A Pro

Halfcourt
YouTube

Basketball Player Shows He's Actually Human After Court-Clearing Brawl

Spain Basketball Brawl
ACB / YouTube

Is This The Youngest Same-Sex Kiss In TV History?

Kiss
YouTube

More Gay Voices
Gay Men And Eating Disorders.. Texas Gets Things Wrong On Marriage.. Butch Lesbian Problems

America Ferrera Takes Hollywood's Lack Of Diversity ‘Extremely Personally'

America Ferrera
Andy Kropa /Invision/AP

More Latino Voices
Police Killings Of Latinos.. A Brief Oscar History.. Sean Penn Fail And How Iñárritu's Response

Jon Stewart Kicked A Wrestler In The Groin Last Night

Jon Stewart Wwe Fight
WWE / YouTube

Distinguished Moustached Cat Gets Goofy For Shelter Awareness

Cat
Megan Martinez-Thredgold

Novelist Kazuo Ishiguro On The Problem Of Censorship

Kazuo Ishiguro
Matt Carr via Getty Images

More Books
Elena Ferrante.. How Art Can Sharpen Your Mind.. Dr. Seuss.. Veronica Roth.. New J.K. Rowling