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March 3, 2015

62 Takeaways From CPAC 2015, Ranked

Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.

House Releases Hostage, Funds DHS Without Immigration Measures

House Funding Dhs
Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images

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DOJ: Ferguson Cops Routinely Discriminate Against Minorities

Ferguson Police
Scott Olson via Getty Images

Hillary Clinton Only Used Private E-Mail As Secretary Of State

Hillary Clinton
Justin Sullivan via Getty Images

Iran: Netanyahu Speech 'Boring And Repetitive"

Khamenei
ASSOCIATED PRESS

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ISIS' Marriage Trap.. China's 'Inconvenient Truth'.. NFL Stars In Turkey!.. Manufacture Desire.. 6,000+

Obamacare Is Back At The Supreme Court. These Lives Hang In The Balance

Entry Pic
Huffington Post

The Twisted, Tortured Path Obamacare Took To The Court

'She Should Just Be Silent And Allow The Rape'

Mukesh Singh
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

Apple Slaps Samsung In Major Milestone

Apple Beat Samsung Sales
PHILIPPE HUGUEN via Getty Images

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Waze Amber Alerts.. Phone Battery Poll.. New BlackBerry.. Lenovo Investigated.. Google's Cellular Plan

Georgia Halts Executions Over Drug Controversy

Georgia Executions
AP

I've Never Smoked Pot. Here's What Happened When I Tried To Get It Legally In D.C.

Marijuana
Wavebreakmedia Ltd via Getty Images

Petraeus To Plead Guilty

David Petraeus
FREDERIC J. BROWN via Getty Images

Here Are The States Where Obamacare Subsidies Could Disappear

Map
The Huffington Post

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Courting Disaster.. Big Costco Change.. Best Business States.. Aetna's CEO Mantra.. Apple Pay Scam

LISTEN: 'Jihadi John' Talks About 9/11

Isis
YouTube

How Republicans Could Cut Food Stamps This Year

Tom Price
Bill Clark via Getty Images

Slain Putin Critic Laid To Rest

Nemtsov
ALEXANDER UTKIN via Getty Images

New Audio, Video Cast Doubt On Bill O'Reilly's Reporting Claims

Bill Oreilly
NBC NewsWire via Getty Images

More Media
TV News' Diversity Problem.. PR KILLING Journalism.. First Look TELL-ALL.. 'SNL' ISIS Skit..

NCAA On Academic Fraud At NCAA Schools: Not Our Problem!

Ncaa Logo
ASSOCIATED PRESS

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Company Disses NCAA.. Durant Left Hanging.. 'I'll F**king Kill You'.. D-Rose's New Inspirational Video

Ben Carson Launches Presidential Exploratory Committee

Ben Carson
ASSOCIATED PRESS

'Last Chance' To Save The World's Rarest Porpoises

Vaquita
NOAA

Here's One Simple Way We Can Change The Conversation About Drug Abuse

Drugs
AFP via Getty Images

Iran Calls Obama Demand 'Unacceptable'

Rouhani
ASSOCIATED PRESS

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ISIS' Marriage Trap.. China's 'Inconvenient Truth'.. NFL Stars In Turkey!.. Manufacture Desire.. 6,000+

Lawyer Files Ballot Initiative In California In Hopes Of Killing All Gays

Hand Holding Gun
Ykoylu via Getty Images

More Gay Voices
Gay Men And Eating Disorders.. Texas Gets Things Wrong On Marriage.. Butch Lesbian Problems

Mesmerizing Pictures Of The Volcano Eruption Causing Chaos In Chile

Villarrica Volcano
ARIEL MARINKOVIC via Getty Images

This Is What Wildlife Crime Looks Like (GRAPHIC)

Gorilla2wwd
Brent Stirton via Getty Images

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Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

Lawsuit Claims Cop Forced Woman To Have Sex With Him To Avoid Arrest

Jerame Reid
NJ.com

Jon Stewart Reveals What's 'Clogging Our Legislative Plumbing'

Boehner Jon Stewart
Comedy Central

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Funny Texting Pranks.. John Oliver Rant.. SNL Cut This 'Fifty Shades' Sketch.. #WeaselPecker Meme

How 'Melissa Harris-Perry' Beat Out The Other Sunday News Shows On Diversity

Melissa Harrisperry
NBC via Getty Images

Mommy Blogger Found Guilty Of Poisoning Son

Lacey Spears
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Fierce Clashes As Iraq Tries To Oust ISIS Fighters From Tikrit

Tikrit
AHMAD AL-RUBAYE via Getty Images

Susan Rice Delivers Tough Love About Iranian Nuclear Negotiations

Rice
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Prosecutors Seek Death Penalty Against Chapel Hill Shooting Suspect

Hicks
AP/Durham County Sheriff's Office

More Crime
Mommy Blogger.. 'Baby Boxes'.. Cop Arrested For Soliciting Women.. Kids In Cage.. Adderall Arrest

How Climate Change Was Partly Responsible For The Crisis In Syria

Syrian Conflict
izustun via Getty Images

Police Chief: Homeless Man Fatally Shot By LAPD Reached For Cop's Gun

Shooting
YouTube

Diplomacy With Iran Is A Tough Sell

Aipac
Bloomberg via Getty Images

Iran To U.S.: Lift The Sanctions!

Students Find Teacher Hanging Inside Classroom

Jillian Jacobson
KTLA

City Of Cleveland Apologizes For Blaming Tamir Rice For His Own Fatal Shooting

Tamir Rice Death Probe
AP

More Black Voices
'Black Future Month'.. Kid Rock Vs. Beyhive.. Locs.. Mo'Nique Talks Being 'Blackballed'

Police: Man's Facebook Plea Over 'Kidnapping' A Hoax

Adam
Facebook

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The Problem With 'Last Man On Earth' No One Is Talking About

Last Man On Earth
Fox

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Changes Coming To 'Downton'?.. 'Style' Boy.. Big Willie.. Mumford Return.. 'HoC' Breakout.. SNL

Nuns Explain What The Vow Of Chastity Really Means

Nun
Studio-Annika via Getty Images

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Eating Disorders & Your Brain.. Real-Life Saul Goodmans.. 'Bitch' Stereotype.. 'Maps To The Stars'

About This Photo Of A Baby Weasel Flying On A Woodpecker...

Woodpecker Weasel
Martin Le-May

3 Vile Myths Food Companies Are Shoving Down Our Throats

Farm Corn
Emilio Ereza via Getty Images

Jon Stewart Kicked A Wrestler In The Groin Last Night

Jon Stewart Wwe Fight
WWE / YouTube

Confessions From A Flawed Animal Advocate

Cheese Board
Tannis Toohey via Getty Images

Best. Coffee. News. Ever.

Coffee Cup

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Prioritizing Sleep.. Part-Time Job.. Make Better Decisions.. Toothbrushing Mistake.. YouTube Yoga

I Don't Want Children -- Ever

Childfree
Jordan Siemens via Getty Images

Why Men Touch Women's Bodies Without Asking

Travolta Menzel
ROBYN BECK via Getty Images

The Best Burger In Every State In America

Best Burgers In America
Shutterstock/Jennifer Bui

More Taste
Fried Egg Font.. Bacon Crackers.. Does A Wine's Age Matter.. Mint Chocolate Recipes.. Babka Breads

We KNEW We Recognized Her From Somewhere...

Jurnee Smollett Jussie Smollett
Jason LaVeris via Getty Images

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'Adventure Time'.. Craziest 'GoT' Theories.. 'HoC'.. 'Downton' Star Leaving?.. Leonard Nimoy.. 'HTGAWM'

Score Free Pancakes At IHOP Today!

Ihop Free Pancakes
Facebook/IHOP

9 Foods That Keep You Feeling Full Longer

Yogurt Berries
ozgurcoskun via Getty Images

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Warren Buffett's Secret To Long Life.. How To Retire Abroad.. Top Sex Toys.. Judi Dench.. Melanie Griffith

BIG Misconception About Pregnancy Busted

Kate Middleton Hair
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Real-Life Frank Underwoods

House Of Cards Kevin Spacey
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Face Serum, Explained

Woman Face Mirror
PhotoAlto via Getty Images

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Ms. Wintour Unplugged.. Neon Nails.. Say It Ain't Khlo, E!.. We <3 Milan Fashion Week.. Blackface Again!

Dissident Artist Ai Weiwei Finds Freedom In Alcatraz

Dragon Front
Diana Sheehan

5 Items In Your Home That Can Make You Money

532880161
Regis Martin via Getty Images

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'House Of Cards' Sale.. Martha Says.. How To Clean Cast Iron.. DIY Avocados.. Tour JFK's Home

The World's 20 Best Skylines, Ranked

San Francisco
Getty Images

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Surprisingly Cheap.. Top NY Hotels.. Nuclear Theme Park.. Cuba To-Do List.. Colorful Spots.. Carhenge?

The 'Hot Convict' Is Going To Be A Model After Prison

Jeremy Meeks
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Retelling A Classic Novel From A Woman's Perspective

Gwendolen
Henry Holt & Company

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Elena Ferrante.. How Art Can Sharpen Your Mind.. Dr. Seuss.. Veronica Roth.. New J.K. Rowling

The Best Workout For People With Diabetes

Running Treadmill
YanLev via Getty Images

Another Street Artist May Have Vandalized A National Park

Andre

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Feminist African Artists.. Art World Sexism.. Zoetropes As Art.. Contemporary Ceramicists.. Puppets!

Mysterious Coffin Buried Near 'Crooked King' Yields Big Surprise

Double Coffin Richard Iii

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Smallest Form Of Life.. Long-Lost Fortress Found.. Hawking's Big Warning.. New View Of Deep Space

Here Are The Top 10 Part-Time Jobs For 2015

Parttime Job
Garry Gay via Getty Images

SERIOUSLY?!?: Man Gets Tattoo Of #TheDress On His Leg

The Dress
Tumblr

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Kentucky Smells.. Weed In Sour Cream.. Unsurprising DWI Arrest.. Man Fails To Steal Plane

'House Of Cards' Townhouse (Kind Of) Hits The Market

House Of Cards
ASSOCIATED PRESS

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'House Of Cards' Sale.. Martha Says.. How To Clean Cast Iron.. DIY Avocados.. Tour JFK's Home

$4.8 Million In Gold Bars Stolen In Elaborate Armored Truck Heist

Gold Bars
Bloomberg via Getty Images

WATCH: Kelly Clarkson And Jimmy Fallon Sing All Your Favorite Duets

Fallon
NBC

5 Dinners That Practically Cook Themselves

Easy Weeknight Dinners
Signe Birck

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