Saba Tekle, Publisher, Mentor, and Best Selling Author
I laughed when I saw the post above floating on Instagram. Because the truth of it, whether you're African or not, it is a reality for many. It was funny but also sad. It's sad for the people who have to live with this hanging over their heads, for the parents that ingrain it in their children, and for those who achieve the Top 3 but are still empty inside.
And yet, most still thrive on the public persona of success, rather than purposeful personal fulfillment.
Because what do we do? We eat it up; the smiles on the faces of socially accepted signs of successful people. We look at them and say, "that's what I want to be when I grow up." Only later to find out it isn't all that it's cracked up to be. The "red carpet" may lead to a curtain, but behind that curtain lies hard work, long hours, unfulfillment, stress, insecurity and a growing desire that leaves you wanting more. Let's also add a dependency of recognition, growth and stability. Yes, most people still call this success.
But I've learned differently...
"I'll tell you who the successful people are. A success is the school teacher who is teaching school because that's what he or she wants to do. A success is the woman who is a wife and mother because she wanted to become a wife and mother and is doing a good job of it. A success is the man who runs the corner gas station because that was his dream. That's what he wanted to do.
A success is the successful salesman who wants to become a top-notch salesman and grow and build within his organization. A success is anyone who is doing a deliberately a pre-determined job because that's what he decided to do deliberately. But only 1 out of 20 does that." -- Earl Nightingale
I remember feeling every ounce of my inner self resisting my attempt to grow with a company that would have given me stability, recognition and salary, but I knew during that time doors (promotions) would slam shut in my face. I would also watch people who I thought were underqualified get what I thought, no, I knew, I deserved.
It was enough to make me drown my sorrows with nights of clubbing, which would cause me to call in sick so much it would affect my job opportunities. Of course this was self-sabotage. I just ended up giving up, and like everyone else, did enough to not get me fired while feeling, "this can't be life."
Little did I know when I found, or better yet began, the journey doing things I felt called to do, which was to heal, write and help people, I'd find what was missing from my life all along. I wish I could say that's when "everything started to happen," as if that was an end-all. No, it was journey that made my life and real success much easier.
Much like a combination to a lock, you have to go through a few back and forth motions until you feel the release of what feels like what was holding you back from your definition of success.
Well, unlike pursuing things outside of your purpose, which feels like, "I will be successful when I become, do or have..." I've learned when you're living your purpose, everything feels like a success.
Every twist, turn, up, and even downs, fills you up and gives you life like nothing ever will, like nothing ever before. You become naturally optimistic, creative, joyful, fulfilled and fueled. When you get up in the morning and your feet hit the ground, it actually feels like you belong to something greater, being used for something greater, something you can't explain. That sounds more like success, doesn't it?
Well, looking back I can say lessor doors of opportunities slammed shut outside my purpose then greater doors opened for me in my purpose with ease, and I know now it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't pushed, better yet shoved, in the right direction. I know if they opened I would not have found reason to conform to false illusions of security and success.
Ask yourself, "Where are all my failures leading me, pushing me away from or towards?"
There you will find why you will never be successful until you find, follow, and pursue your purpose. It's what you were created here to do, that you will truly love.