First the good news. While they would have been marginally better off tuning into Wolf Blitzer and the Democratic candidate debate, the Youth of America spoke clearly and forthrightly about the issues that mattered most to them at the MTV Movie Awards last night: Paris Hilton belongs in jail, and Dane Cook is not funny. Small, trivial matters both, but nevertheless, a stirring display of wholesome values that could only give one hope for America's future.
Outside of those moments, however, the rest of the broadcast, rightfully described by the Chicago Tribune as "relentlessly sour," was enough to Amy Winehouse finally check into Promises. Utterly perfunctory and shoddily produced, there was hardly a moment of joyful kick to be had.
To be sure, no one should kid themselves about MTV's Movie Awards as an institution. From their inception, they have always been a vehicle of synergy, a means to horn in on Hollywood star power and give MTV an entree into every avenue of pop-culture. Yet, in the past, the network showed a little bit of its old, anarchic flavor by packing their tribute to popcorn cinema with some edgy, satiric kick. This year, the show's producers largely abdicated the responsibility of entertaining to leashless comedians Sarah Silverman and Dane Cook (Silverman ran out of worthwhile material after the first ten minutes, which was about fifteen minutes more worthwhile than Cook's antics) and to a series of largely unfunny user-generated spoofs.
But the raw, craven, naked shilling for Michael Bay's Transformers movie--which looks to be a cruddy, confused din in need of all the help it can possibly get--was perhaps the most disturbing thing to witness, if only because it was the only thing for which the show seemed to take any real care or concern. Red carpet correspondents cooed over generic clips that they hadn't seen, the movie's stars paraded around acting for all the world like they felt they belonged in a real-life Danny Ocean's crew, and the whole broadcast was so larded with commercial content for the movie that it practically induced diabetes.
The saddest part of it all was the decision to create an award for "Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen"--an awkward, thoroughly listless idea that could not have possibly fooled anyone as to its real intent--focus still more unwarranted attention on Transformers. It was especially sad to see Seth Rogan serve as a party to the crass enterprise. His movie, Knocked Up, is cheerful, humane, heartfelt, and far more well-armed in integrity than anything on display last night. Nevertheless, it's fitting that MTV evinces concern for transformation--maybe one day they'll notice that they have become much less than meets the eye.