Us Weekly Takes Empty Gestures to Colossal New Heights of Cynicism

03/28/2008 02:44 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

WhatParisBan.JPGJust hours after Paris Hilton was sprung from jail, Us Weekly — a magazine nobody turns to for serious news — made a serious decision nobody asked for on an issue that affects nobody's lives: they will heroically, trenchantly, and with a thoroughly righteous air, make the ultimate sacrifice and make no mention of Hilton in their magazine this Friday.

Speaking to the AP yesterday, Us Editor Janice Min said, "When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue." Min says she based her decision on the fact that Hilton has become so ubiquitous in the media that "in many ways her time with US Weekly has moved on."

Right. There's no way this editorial decision was made mainly because between now and the newsstands on Friday, Us is simply unlikely to have anything to add to the Hilton story! And we're sure it has nothing to do with the People exclusive! That sort of thinking would just be needlessly cynical!

By the way, the accompanying image was taken from Us's website at 12:21 am this morning. Four separate Paris Hilton stories, plus a hat-tip in "Top Celebrities." Just sayin'!

Update: Good lord, we missed one — there are actually five items here, four stories plus the big poll at the bottom. One of the bullet points in the middle is about Paris too, as it turns out. Yep, that's Us Weekly, 100% Paris Free!

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