Harry Potter And Why I'm Rubber And You're Glue

03/28/2008 02:44 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The final battle is upon us. Not that final battle, for which you'll still have to wait until midnight (or risk permanent eyestrain from reading poorly photographed pages), but rather the battle between healthy adult fans of Harry Potter who can handle the fact that the some newspapers have published early reviews of Deathly Hallows and obsessive lunatics who are still freaking out like someone just told them that Santa Claus raped the Tooth Fairy. I think you know which side I'm on.

To recap, the Huffington Post iteration of this debate began when Rachel Sklar got all Bellatrix LeStrange on The New York Times, and continued with me gently suggesting that Sklar have a butterbeer and a nice lie down. Now John Neffinger responds that I am "all wrong." (Sorry, I'm out of half-clever allusions.)

Unfortunately for Neffinger, he can't make his point without referring to Deathly Hallows as J.K. Rowling's "final gift to her people," a phrase that says more than I ever could about his utter lack of perspective.

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