men.style.com:
Among the universe's cruel ironies--pretty much anything having to do with puberty, say, or the career arc of Michael Bay--this has to be near the top of the heap: Women typically hit their sexual stride in their mid-thirties, just as many guys the same age are pulling up lame with the equivalent of a sex-drive charley horse.
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I also heard a report that this difference in timing/ages of sexual peaks is total B.S. originally released to help discourage women from being sexually active until later in their lives (i.e. after they were already married... anyone else hear that?
Nope.
Just In...Writers looking for readers use sex and silly generalizing to get them
No one has discussed Sharon Stone. I'm going back to picking my nose.
3 pages of comments on a Living Now page column. Who would have thought it?
One thing that seems to be overlooked is while these mid 30 year old women have an increased sex drive their appearance is usually starting to fade. It's sad but true. There are exceptions but by the mid 30's the average woman has had a few kids and put on and extra dozen or two (dozen) pounds.
Unfortunately we men are shallow creatures and are visually stimulated. Sorry, I didn't wire our brains the way they are made.
If you and your husband are out of sync sexually you might want to take a look in the mirror before wondering what is wrong with him.
Give me a break! Men age and their appearance "fades" as well. Do you think women prefer to be with men who have hair growing out of their ears and on their backs? You guys start growing hair pretty much everywhere EXCEPT for your head! How about those sagging man-boobs, droopy rear ends, and pendulous scrotums? And I might add that women aren't the only ones who get fat. I've seen my fair share of bloated pot-bellied men out there, many of whom look like they could be pregnant.
So, please, stop thinking men are the only ones who desire physical attractiveness in a mate, because women want it too. Ever think THAT might be why so many of us want the lights off during sex, hmmm?
If I can provoke just one hissy fit per day on the Huffpost then my work is done.
Two words, Michelle Phifer grrrrrrrr.
Horse hockey! Give me a nice looking 40-year-old over a dumb hot 20-something any day of the week.
Could it be the neuroses of the women in their "sexual peak" that "scares" men away? Hmmm . . . . . .
This kind of assertion makes me think that generalizations from limited research play loudest to biases and stereotypes. Most women (and, of course, I know most women) don't require enough from men, but it doesn't have much to do with sex drives, it has to do with paternalistic/sexist patterns and a lack of general power-sharing in society - laced with rampant double standards. Boys will be boys, yet women must follow "the rules." More pointedly, it just doesn't generalize well to characterize men or women on the basis of simplistic explanations. We are diverse individuals.
Goofy, well said. I will add that this piece started a thread which reflects a wide range of experiences and attitudes held by both men and women, some good, some bad, and quite a bit of ugliness.
more male-hating claptrap...
If anything puts down men, particularly if it can be used to make fun of men in general, it is inherently good as viewed in our current culture.
Wives can murder their husbands, and it's assumed that he was abusing her in some way (women are free to murder their own children, too, of course).
Yet let a man harm a child or his wife (OJ notwithstanding--that's a race thing) and he's a Monster.
You just described monstrous behavior from both sexes.
Like there hasn't been woman hating clap trap on this thread as well.
An assumption always starts with a persons experience. It depends on jurisdiction, evidence, and juries.
OJ was acquitted by the way. Race thing, no, sloppy prosecutors, bad police work, and enough money to buy the best defense.
You've got some resentment waiting to boil over huh?
I love that 'spreading the seed far & wide' line. What a lovely copout. Spreading seed indiscriminately inevitably leads to not enough support for the offspring--a definite evolutionary disadvantage. Men are still using the old male-designed biological reasoning to excuse their behaviors. To the species' detriment.
Yeah, love the excuses and whining from the misogynists.
What I find interesting is the title of this link, vs the content of the article.
There is nothing in the article that suggests that "Women In Their Sexual Peak Scare Most Men... To Younger Girls"
The article is about how men lose testosterone and thus sex drive as they age, while women's sex drive seems to increase.
It also discusses how these women are cheating on their husbands.
What's interesting also, is that there are studies that show that this is not necessarily the case, and this article is full of anecdotal evidence, but no actual studies.
As much as we like to have actual studies. Even the medical community will use anecdotal evidence when it suits them. (referring to brain altering chemicals used to treat mental illness)
A study can be even more biased than anecdotal evidence, especially when a researcher starts out with a hypotheses and then rejects and edits the data to fit.
A study, a poll, a generals report, are only as good as the data coming in, properly categorized, analysed, and allowed to be heard.
A young boy asks his father, what is a vagina?
The father says before sex it's perfume and roses. After sex, have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonaise?
Scared with good reason.
As one near that "peak" I wonder if that notion is not just wishful thinking. I suspect men are hard-wired to gravitate to young, healthy fertile females.
The sexual maturity curve seemingly at variance doesn't seem to be a cruel irony. If it's not adventageous biologically it's at least neutral.
Well,speaking as one who's passed over several peaks in life...it's even more than a cruel irony. So not only is darkness the friend of the aged, but so is kindness, charm, intelligence,and compassion.
It also helps if your partner can pass the "remember when?" test. That way you can...you know...talk. After. And God forbid, during.
Ladies, when you get old in America you best be armed with strength, friends, and a sense of humor.
Gentlemen, this also applies to you. Saggy butts are gender neutral. Be glad we don't judge you like you judge us.
And now I'm going to pick Betty and Veronica up off the floor and go take a nap.They've fallen and they can't get up.
Good post Bookish. Thanks for the chuckle at the end.
Whew, the fur is flying on this thread. When I was in my mid twenties I discovered the joys of women about 10-15 years older than myself, and converted. Now that I'm middle-aged, I STILL prefer women in their mid thirties. Sorry, but finding a woman my age with a nice butt that weighs less than me is almost impossible, and men are visually stimulated. That's not my fault. And no, I'm not intimidated by a sexually aggressive woman, although I know most men are. Not enough space here to explore all the intricacies of our problems.
Oh bother. Why did this have to turn into a pee-ing contest between the machomacho boy-men and the aging feminist broads?
It didn't have to. But alas, when to comes to female power, many men can't accept it. Many men cannot allow a woman to think for herself, act on her own behalf, or express the truth of her experience without turning a woman into a piece of meat.
Until men mature beyond the meat stage, nothing will change.
It didn't have to. But alas, when it comes to male feelings, many women can't accept them. Many women cannot accept a man who thinks for himself and acts on his feelings, or expresses the truth of his experiences without attempting to diminish his masculinity.
Until women grow less self-centered nothing will change.
LOL, good one.
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First Posted: 09-20-07 09:58 AM | Updated: 03-28-08 02:45 AM