These kind of labels are counter productive.
People want all sorts of things.
I wish people would be more kind, sensitive and compassionate.
Having confidence is a must for everyone. Being arrogant is offensive in anyone.

there is nothing wrong with a smart, hot "alpha" woman. a plain smart, "alpha" woman is just plain. hot, dumb woman is just that. in your article, there is not one positive attribute attached to an alpha male. maybe your problem is that you are a pushy, pompous, plain woman. pushy, pompous plain men suffer the same fate---dismissal. i'm a 99 percentile, successful "alpha" all man. my wife is a hot brainy professional. we are partners who use our personal strengths, undivided by gender, to achieve OUR goals. try it. maybe some of you rejected souls may like it.
p.s. most of the women i had to sort through to get to my wife were good for a poke in the orifice of my choice but not for a poke in the brain. relationships get old without the two.

My ex-wife was proud of her abilities, and disappointed with mine.

She was very angry about what she saw as an uneven distribution of labor in our marriage.

Even though she didn't work, and I worked a 40 hr job, AND did all of the laundry, AND all of the dishes, AND made the kids breakfast every morning, AND took care of the yard, she cared more about the jobs I WASN'T doing.

She took care of the money. She planned family activities and became resentful of me because I didn't share these responsibilities with her.

But she was good at those things. Unfortunately, she had been taken advantage of as a child, by her infantile mother, who forced my ex into an adult role before she was ready.

In all of the self-righteous arguments she made about why I wasn't "measuring up" she failed to note her own shortcomings. Namely, an inability to accept people as they are.

If she could have accepted my limitations, she probably would not be raising our children as a single parent.

It's been 2 years since she kicked me out, and 1 year since our divorce became final, and I am only now back to a good level of self-esteem.

The Alpha female?

Been there. Done that. Never again.

My current girlfriend needs me as much as I need her. Maybe more. It is with tender affection that I embrace her deficits and I am only to happy to lend her my support and love.

Hi Kate:

Are you the blond in the picture? I'm trying to figure out if you are bragging or complaining. Both I guess. Are you a feminist? Do you like men? Are you really looking for a husband? Why? Maybe you just need a sub.

Anyway, I want you to be happy. Stop with the bankers and doctors. Date men who work with their hands. Be yourself at all times. Judge the men you date on whether you had a good time. Don't compare them to yourself. They will never measure up.

Good Luck.

It's funny how some people got stuck on her restaurant story and evaded the larger issue.

As for the assertion that her behavior was pretentious, I wonder how it would have been viewed had she been a man. Visualize this: A man and a woman are dining out. He orders the meal, speaking in French, Italian, (insert a language), while his lovely date swoons... I recall many a movie with this exact scene.

Please, folks; when men do this they are considered "wordly" and "debonaire". Not so for the chicas: apparently, we are being "pretentious".

Interesting factoid: "Knowing more than a woman should know" was listed in the Malfeas Malificeum as one of the signs that a woman was a witch. Now it indicates that she's a bitch. Ah, progress...

Hmmm ... methinks that there was more to the "eligible doctor's" sudden change of heart than the fact that his date could speak Italian and he couldn't. Why would a doctor feel threatened by a linguist? If she was a world-renowned brain surgeon, then maybe.

I did find, back in my own "eligible bachelor" days, that one or two women I decided I didn't really fancy would resort to the "men don't like strong women" rationale when the truth was I just didn't like THEM that much.

If she can afford me we could go to Italy and she can order and converse all she wants too.

Not only don't smart women scare me, I don't mind being taken care of. I am of course the youngest of five and the only boy so I'm used to it.

Now if I could only get my wife to go along with it .......

If he's not worrying about your ego, don't worry about his. Mutual ego gratification is ideal.

This is a phony argument. Someone is just bragging on herself about how smart she is. Big deal. The doctor probably didn't like you because you're a showoff. The fact that you're writing an article about this shows that have very little discretion. You are just showing off and he saw through you.

Hmmm....maybe you need to check out eHarmony?
If you're looking to get married, that might
be a good way to find someone compatible with
your skills and abilities. If you're smart,
don't hide it, you might miss the guy looking
for Mrs. Right That Can Also Decipher A Map etc.
Looks aren't everything in life, and I'd 10
times rather date someone that could hold up
her end of a conversation than not.

Why is everyone criticizing the author for speaking Italian to the restaurant owner?

Maybe she enjoys speaking in Italian. Maybe she shmoozing for free food. Maybe she was just being polite. I mean, it is polite to speak to someone in their first language if you know it.

The fact that some many of us are complaining about that only goes to prove the author right. Some people just can't handle an intelligent woman. Sadly enough, the prejudice isn't just limited to men.

The Strange and Frightening Decline of the American Female or how I learned to love the bra and stiletto heels.

Hmmm... eating in a restaurant in AMERICA where the national language is ENGLISH and this is the first date with said doctor and you decide to have a conversation that he can't understand with a man he probably doesn't know... And you wonder why this would be upsetting? Were you making fun of him? Were you belittling him? Who knows? He doesn't. Why else would you choose to knowingly exclude him from the conversation.

My opinion? The author of this piece should have pretentious stamped on her forehead.

Why does there have to be a war of the sexes? Can't both partners, you know, work together so both can achieve their dreams in love and lifework?

As far as I'm concerned, a man's ego is his own problem. I'll support him in all his hopes and dreams. If he has a bad day, I'll rub his shoulders. I'll assure he's my ideal of masculinity. But when it comes to dealing with my IQ, he's gonna have to stroke his own ego. He should probably start by congratulating himself for being a woman as wonderful as I am!

Getting a date and finding a spouse or partner are challenges in everyone's life, and always involve lots of compromises.

But the issue of what is a woman's proper role in society is enforced much more starkly in the employment world where the consequences of sexism for women are a lower-class status, inability to support themselves, and a life-time dependency on the support of men.

The local bar association in my county just published their monthly newspaper and had photos on the front page of the four new people who have just been either promoted to judge, or assigned as commissioners (one step below a judge). Four white men. I wondered if the AP would pick up on this? What a surprise. In a legal community that is now approximately half female, women continue to be largely excluded from the top jobs in the legal system (paying $160-$180,000, with terrific benefits and retirement programs).

In the courthouse, the women are found in the much-lower level positions of research attorney, courtroom clerk, and of course clerical.

The total percentage of women judges or commissioners is stuck at 10%. Which I guess is appropriate because it mirrors the private law firms in the community which essentially get rid of women after about 5 years. No female partners allowed.

Women are excluded from all areas of legal practice where one can earn a decent living with the exception of family law. Other than that, women are welcomed to practice poverty law or any other type of law where it is impossible to earn any money.

Dating, boyfriends, even husbands, all important stuff.

But of more interest to me is to see how the wall of sexism is being re-built in Bush's America, and how these institutions now brag openly about the fact that women are not welcome. P.S.: out of the approximately 35 judges and commissioners in my county, there is 1 black and 1 hispanic. It feels like I'm living in Mississippi in 1950.