Can Being Unfaithful Save Your Marriage?

Times Of London:

It seems like the ultimate irony - the least likely outcome to an act of betrayal that for most people spells the end of a marriage. Sometimes, however, instead of causing a death blow, being caught out can end up saving it. In some cases, an affair can improve a relationship that has for years been stuck in the doldrums; it can be a desperately needed wake-up call, a chance to reflect and face painful truths. Of course, this is a high-risk strategy and many couples cannot get past the bitterness and resentment that the infidelity inevitably brings, but some can and do get through the pain of an affair and end up stronger.

Read the whole story: Times Of London

Comments

[dora rice]

biggest bull chit. You compare your lover with your partner and that's not good. Besides you one uncomfortable bundle of a human being. You know that you give anything to be with your lover and you have to put up a front. Your partner maybe not realizes what's wrong but he probably thinks this was not the best piece of arsch he got today. Stay true and be happy, best advise from someone who experienced it. I am still married and the last time my lover and I wanted to revive our love affair it fell flat. Wait long enough and you be glad with what you have.

[WilliePilgrim]

Consider the fact that marriage is not a single kind of human relationship just as each human has a unique set of instinctual motivations and limits. For that matter, let's ditch the old notion that there are only two acceptible kinds of sexes (though christianity does accept a third and very convenient kind of sexuality, though not very common in nature at all...almo­st "against nature" in many ways; celebacy). And let's toss off the old notions that our sexuality is what it is for the entire life of our beings...i­t changes and it adapts to the pressures our society and our living conditions put on it.
So "infidelit­y"...is it ok? It's ok with me if it's ok with you...and if it's not ok with you are you ok that is it is ok for others?

[rabun666]

Cheating on a spouse doesn't even matter when the spouse thinks you're cheating and you're not. At this point it's pure insanity, paranoid and/or a delusion of some sort. Accusations of actually cheating is not delusional at least. Delusional accusations are actually more harmful if children are involved because they are being convinced that delusion is reality, when it is really a delusion.

[rabun666]

Cheating on a spouse doesn't even matter when the spouse thinks you're cheating and you're not. At this point it's pure insanity, paranoid and/or a delusion of some sort. Accusations of actually cheating is not delusional at least. Delusional accusations are actually more harmful if children are involved because they are being convinced that delusion is reality, when it is really a delusion.

[vivibear]

I think the faithful is the basic of marriage. Most of marriage should be destroyed by the unfaithful. That's why there are so many singles women on http://femmate.com divorced and need to find a faithful partner.

[YA]

There is only one way to find out...

[leftLibertarian]

being unfaithful saved my life. I got rid of the wife and now I'm a free man.

[ohiomark]

When liberals have no standards, they have nothing to live up to.

Happy cheating Libs.

[Ginzaman]

Can I start with Diane Lane :)? Seriously it depends on several things: the people, their history, how long they've been married. Also culture plays a part as well. In Japan, many times affairs are ok bcause the people involved save face. The husband/wife are in a dead marriage. The wife is over 40 and has real problems going back to work. If she has a discreet affair, everybody gets their needs met and there's no scandal. You can't always judge this with a Western Christian standard.

[mediamarv]

Which one in the photo is being unfaithful???

[HatingTheGame]

Ohhh... more HuffPorn! Love it.

"Of course, this is a high-risk strategy..­."

Uh, this is a strategy? What, one day you sit down and say, ok, gotta save the marriage, let me go bang my co-worker, or pick up a two-bit hooker and see how that works!

Yeah, right. Affairs are of the heart, a pull of the libido, an escape from the doldrums of routine life, a little hanky to complement the panky. Its not a strategy, any more than your first kiss is.

[Average]

This is just PALIN STUPID! Just shows which one in the marriage is SELFISH AND CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

[Theda]

Every circumstance is different. Sometimes an affair can make a marriage better and it was interesting to read this mature and non-condemning point of view. In France, an extramarital affair isn't such a big deal but in America people like to condemn it...even though they're probably doing it secretly themselves.

[groucho]

Didn't work for my marriage. Kids suffer.

[loki]

Didnt do shit for mine when my wife started doing it. In fact, it not only ruined the marriage, its really affected the kids too.