The World's Worst PR Guy Spins For Roger Clemens

The World's Worst PR Guy Spins For Roger Clemens

Former Sen. George Mitchell's report on steroid use in Major League Baseball pegged 89 players for using a variety of performance-enhancing substances, among them seven-time Cy Young Award-winner and future Hall-of-Famer (wait, not so fast!) Roger Clemens. 23/6's resident PR expert defends his client's honor.

STATEMENT FROM THE WORLD'S WORST PR GUY:

Members of the legitimate media, and local sportswriters. I am here to respond to the claims from the Mitchell report that my client, pitcher Roger Clemens, purchased and used steroids starting in the late '90s.

Roger hasn't yet read the report--that thing is long, and he has trouble keeping his eyes fixed on a stationary target for more than 30 seconds--but he is very upset over the allegations. Not just upset--angry. I might even say enraged. A blind rage that burns with the passion of a thousand white-hot suns. And trust me, you wouldn't like Roger when he's enraged!

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