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Clinton Readies America For January 2009 Terror Attack

First Posted: 03/28/08 03:45 AM ET Updated: 05/25/11 01:20 PM ET

Tears

On the stump today, presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton borrowed a page from the Rudy Giuliani playbook by intimating that within hours of her inauguration, the terrorists will be opening up a six-pack of jihadi whoop-ass all over us, because that's what they tried to do in England:

"I don't think it was by accident that Al Qaeda decided to test the new prime minister," she said. "They watch our elections as closely as we do, maybe more closely than some of our fellows citizens do.... Let's not forget you're hiring a president not just to do what a candidate says during the election, you want a president to be there when the chips are down."

You just have to love the optimism! And how about that buried message about how ignorant the American electorate is! Why, if "some of our fellow citizens" would just put forth the same amount of effort as the terrorists, they'd TOTES realize that "Obama" rhymed with "Oh, bomb ya" and that he was educated at some sort of Terror Madrassa For Biracial Change Agents.

Anyway, America, take comfort in the fact that when Hillary Clinton wins the election, she'll use the awesome power of her experience to take credit for thwarting the terror attack she's predicting today but can't get to at the moment because she's too busy campaigning.


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