Annals Of Presidential Oratory: Romney 'Concession' Speech Edition

There was a moment last night, watching Mitt Romney deliver his "Yes! We're never going to win a major state primary ever!" speech where I thought something was going terribly wrong. I'm talking about the part where Romney started repeating this same theme over and over again, but with a strange rhetorical stutter: "They've heard Washington promise to buy the world a Coke, but they...they haven't. They've heard Washington say that they'll totally pick you up at the airport the next time you come to town, but they...they haven't." I thought: Oh, no! Has something gone wrong with Mitt's internal programming? Has he not been eating enough of those precious silver medals that power his cybernetics? Oy, robot!

But, as it turns out, I was wrong. A second later, Mitt tries this little oratory trick again and at last, his audience realizes: "Oh! We get it! He wants us all to chant 'They haven't' along with him!" Romney takes a moment to chide the audience, telling them in faux-relief how happy he was that they finally got what he was trying to do. That's not very nice of him! In the first place, it's not like the people standing behind him, who are affiliated with his own campaign were of any help! But more to the point, it sort of shows how Romney's supporters, more than anyone else, know full well that Mitt can't be counted on to say the same thing twice.

Comments

[Northlite]

Mitt's Medical Issues to Blame
From the Journal of the American College of Neurosurgeons blog:

"We understand that Mitt's "misstatements" may all be a result of a medical operation Governor Romney had about a year and half ago. To get rid of the gnawing inside, he went into Mayo Clinc for a ethiclotomy. That's the surgical procedure, very popular with a certain class of businessman, where they make a micro incision behind the ear and into the brain then vacuum out the little organ where the conscience resides. But as is all too typical with this class of patients, the surgeons couldn't find the damn thing. I've heard through the medical grapevine that the doctors didn't want to lose their fees--they're businesspeople after all!--so they just sucked something else out. Some suspect it was his heart." Neurosurgeon in Dallas

"The theory in our Neurosurgery Department is that the damage occured while the whole family was going through their annual "Stepford" renewal treatment last spring. As most of you who work at teaching hospitals know, this is the suite of medical procedures that ensures perfect children and spouses, great teeth, a very WASPy attitude, and a very very fat wallet. We've heard that during one of the minor surgical processes, the last tiny vestige of Mitt's soul may have been removed by mistake. Mitt's soul had shrunk to the point that the technicians thought it was just a large pimple on his buttocks. When the doctors were out of the room, one of the custodians, probably an illegal immigrant, apparently popped it. So there you have it!" Cedars of Lebanon Hospital, Detroit

Jesus is Our Savior! No New Taxes! Protect Our Borders! Double Gitmo! Go Mitt!!!!!

[mrcontinental]

Mitt is a very dangerous man. I hope he loses every primary because he is unfit for political office of any kind.