What We Can Learn From French Women

Ah, the allure of les femmes francaises. How do they do it? Here are some possible explanations.

1. They have a natural approach to beauty.

The more time I spent with French femmes, the more I realized they don't spend the inordinate amount of time grooming that American women do. Most let their hair air dry, wear little makeup, and skimp on hair removal. And honestly, they look better for it: more natural, more nonchalantly gorgeous....Americans make much of the sophistication of French women, but the truth is, when it comes to beauty, these swans are fairly rock 'n' roll. Yes, they eat sensibly (no snacking) and pay attention to their skin, but they also engage in a healthy abandon we sometimes lack.

Keep reading at Tango.com.

2. Age doesn't get in the way of their sex lives.

Through our 40s, we American women manage to arrange romps on a fairly regular basis. But the latest national statistics show that by our 50s, a third of us haven't had sex in the last year. By our 60s, nearly half have gone sexless in the previous year. Once we hit our 70s, most of us might as well hang up an "out of business" sign. (Needless to say, men fare much better.)....But not in France. Frenchwomen simply don't suffer from the same dramatic, post-40s slide into sexual obsolescence. Just 15 percent of Frenchwomen in their 50s and 27 percent in their 60s haven't had any sex in the past year, according to a 2004 national survey by France's Regional Health Observatory. Another national survey being released next month will report that cohabiting Frenchwomen over 50 are having more sex now than they did in the early 1990s.

Keep reading at WashingtonPost.com.

3. Their Vogue is more inventive.

Would Americans pose Demi Moore, at right, like this? Didn't think so.
(From Nymag.com)

"The American editors are very, how you say, slick," [Carine] Roitfeld says. "Very perfect. Hair is perfect, they have a manicure. They are very clean, they follow fashion. I don't think they take many risks. They do the total look of Prada. Me, I wear a lot of Japanese piece mixed with a bit of classic Hermès and Prada. Even though jeans suit me, I never wear jeans."

Keep reading at NYMag.com.

Story continues below

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4. They're not afraid to have fun with fashion.

From the Viktor & Rolf show at Paris Fashion Week this week. Refinery29.com

From Junya Watanabe and Comme des Garcons' shows. New York Times

Can you imagine these models walking down a New York runway? Neither can we.

Read reviews of Paris Fashion Week here at NYTimes.com and here at Refinery29.com.

5. And, yes, they know damn well how to not get fat.

When Mireille Guiliano first came to America as an exchange student, she gained weight for the first time in her life. Many years later, after becoming a CEO of Veuve Clicquot, she penned the buzzy No. 1 best-seller French Women Don't Get Fat, now out in paperback. After 25 years of splitting her time between New York and Paris, Guiliano is still amazed by the large portions here, and by the New Yorker's tendency to eat on the go. "To eat your bagel and your muffin with coffee on the subway is gross," she says. "How can you do it with the smell and the noise and the moving? I'd rather starve." She's also still shocked when she sees people eating on the street or standing up. "For French people, you're supposed to eat at the table. Besides the bed, it's the most important piece of furniture in the house."

Keep reading to find out what a week of eating entails for Ms. Guiliano.

Do you think French women are fabulous? Tell us below in comments.

Comments

[MikeDu]

Reading over the post and the comments i conclude the main factor in comparing U.S. women to French is the ANXIETY factor. America is a very anxious naton lately. You have to try extra extra hard to be secure - personally, emotionally, financially. You're expected to reach for the brass ring, pursue the 'American dream'. Many highschool teens emerge from school fried and frazzled and so enter adulthood fried and frazzled. What Rory was describing in the article can best be boiled down to one word. French women are more RELAXED. Relaxed is sexy. One female coworker (married to a Frenchman, so there's a link) was so calm she could lower my blood pressure by two point simply by wafting into the office.

[wagadog]

What you really seem to be saying here is that having an adequate social safety net is the main advantage that France has over the US.

Well finally someone is making some sense around here.

And, interestingly, you say that people -- including women -- are "expected to reach for the brass ring, pursue the 'American dream'."

Wow, you mean get good grades, get scholarships, enter a highly practical field like engineering/computational physics, put yourself through college working as a programmer, go straight to grad school in the same field, win several grants and fellowships, win several postdocs immediately upon getting the highest degree possible, use the fact that you've been programming for nearly 15 years at that point to uh...get a real job in the real world which pays twice the money for half the work of what most scientists get, and then do that for another 15 years on three continents? Hrm.

But...if you've done all that, why should you care about appearing to be terribly sexy? No point in listening to French Girls when you can just say RAF anyway. (Maybe that ANXIETY you are so worried about comes from a far greater level of DISCRIMINATION from SEXIST PIGS -- unless you learn early on to tell them to EFF OFF, that is.)

But this is really just the OPPOSITE of the point of the article, which implies that we should be MORE anxious about NOT being as sexy as these supposed French Maids that I saw Issak's mother dressed up as the other day. Sorry, but I'm not buying it. RAF.

[lenalee]

Heya,

I think there are a couple of things we are sort of missing about "french girls".

The big one is that when we say "french girl" what we mean is female living in the center of Paris. Unlike the US where influence, power and money are split between say NY, DC and maybe LA or Boston, France has 1 reall big city to see and be seen. This of course dates to nation state formation in the early modern period and is true for pretty much all the major Western European countries (with the exception of Germany where this is only not true due to division and eventual reunification as a result of the second World War). The result is that, all the beautiful, powerful people who want to shine are going to do it in one place, not split up into several cities.

Second, there are actually several different notions of beauty- the "french girl" everysome seems to be talking about only really exemplifies one. I would not claim to be a master of the male psyche, but in physical allure my boy seems to like the ethnic jewish look best. The traditional "french girl" doesn't really do that look all too well.

Third, about the maturity of 18 year old americans vs. Europeans: I imagine its all down to the schooling. So my flatmate last year was German, he had to decide his career path in his early teens. British kids a little later, but similarly they need to decide what A-Levels to go for by 16. The french education system is similar, with kids deciding earlier. While Americans generally go to (and often come out of) college not knowing what they want to do with their lives. Having a clear life direction early on forces a little insight and maturity. Then again, I wouldn't change the US education system b/c a lot of the British kids I know end up disliking their life path. 18 year olds aren't supposed to have it all figured out and be mature. Self-awareness and wisedom SHOULD come with age. Though, that is just my opinion

[Hobobrown]

Bravo, John!

[lamarguerite]

All of this sounds pretty accurate, speaking from personal experience!

French chick from San Francisco.

[DuffyShort]

French women take better care of themselves. They walk more and eat better. One thing I have noticed is that they usually wear basic black with either a little cleavage or leg showing. I don't know about the grooming as they always look impeccable to me. They are not likely to be overweight and they appear to be confident. The men and women take lovers and fewer are married. Saturday nite is great people watching as it is a night for eating out with a lover, but Sunday is strictly reserved for your family. RR

[Hobobrown]

I think Justme has hit the nail on the head.
Merci

[WomanInOrangeSweater]

I spent 8 months in France and without trying, lost 15 pounds. Another friend spend a year in the Netherlands and lost 10 pounds without trying. When we returned, we gained it back without trying. I'm not sure if it's the fact that we did more walking, had less 24 hour delis open to raid at 1AM, did less compulsive eating or if the additives in our food have any impact. But whatever it is it seems fitting that people in a country known for its consumerism would be overweight. But I'm tired of musing on this subject--I have an egg mcmuffin that's getting cold.

[CrankyGal]

Wag honey, you have got to relax. I don't know how old you are, but life is long, and it's exhausting to be so ticked off all the time.

Also, FYI, from someone who works in the science business, please stop screaming about your PhD and all the rest. Trust me, no one is impressed but you. People outside the science community couldn't care less about what a genius you are. Any time I try to talk about work to family or friends I can see their eyes glaze over in moments.

I must add that I do love France and the French and agree that French women look way better than we do. They know how to live better than us in general, with less emphasis on money and more on pleasure.

[wagadog]

RAF.

You're a bright girl, CrankyGal. You might have figured out by now that I don't really give a shit what other people think.

It's the freedom that having made my own way that I enjoy, along with the freedom to diss the shit out of a bunch of stupid frat boys salivating over pictures of bimbos and discussing their stereotypes of them like they were pieces of meat.

And quite frankly, who gives a shit whether "French women look way better than we do."

I'm not some frat-boys jerk-off fodder, and neither are you.

Why are you buying in to this invidious "Stereotype A" versus "Stereotype B" false dichotomy? BREAK the limits of the terms of debate as set by this asinine fashion piece.

[retrogrouch]

Mean people suck, Wag.

[Issak]

Hey hagdog- just wanna know, so you probably don't shave anywwhere, right? that's for those clueless femmes who only wish they could be as bright as you-

So, maybe I'm being obvious here - but your hairyness makes you - dare I say more French - I guess? do you bathe? try smiling once in a while hun, Crankygal's advice seems sound to me.

[tehriaz]

you seem a little overly angry about it, but I do entirely agree with you. I'm generally pretty laid back but I've been known to go on a tirade here and there.

[retrogrouch]

My brother lived in Europe for many years, and he often remarked on the fat derrieres of many American women--and this was more than 30 years ago. I'm sure everyone in NYC is thin and fabulous(!), but out here in fly-over land, they're (ahem) absolutely not. The French standard of beauty is different, for sure. They don't eat like pigs, they don't look like blingy whores, and they are sophisticated, educated, and tolerant. I remember many years ago a young French woman I ate dinner with following a sailboat race in the Annapolis area. I can bring her face back in my memory instantly, and in a quiet moment, I wonder what life would have been like had I not been so intimidated by her open, natural beauty.

[ceasenake]

We could learn French from them, but what would be the point? French is collapsing, English is expanding.

[Wilbur]

I find the statement that French women "...skimp on hair removal..." MOST interesting...and ALLURING. I applaud French women for their natural look. Too bad American women think razors need to be an automatic part of "genital grooming!"

Wilbur

[John]

It's interesting to read the comments on this string. Many seem to be informed by nothing more than stereotypes gleaned from magazines, cable TV news, or the internet.

I lived in France for 4 years while working as a postdoc at a University, 10 years ago. I must say, that for a single male, who like most single males of our species with a fully functioning set of senses, I noticed the women acutely. And as crass as this sounds, the single major difference I noticed between the women of my age/peer group between America and France could be summed up in one word. Fat. French women have a lot less of it. After the initial shock of being surrounded by thin, and therefore more attractive (sorry its hardwired into males of our species) women, I began to notice other differences. One of the greatest was French womens' apparent self-confidence. Whether they be attractive, average, or unattractive, most seemed to carry themselves with far less of a sense of self-consciousness. This gave the general impression that they were beyond their years. For example, a 19 year old women there could easily be mistaken for a 30 year old here, simply by the way she behaves in a work or social setting.

[FLmama]

I lived in Paris for two years and I was so in awe of French women. They have such grace and confidence. They are more natural looking than American women, they don't use much hairspray and their make-up looks very underdone. And contrary to popular belief, they do shave and they are not stinky. They dress very well too - next to them I felt very un-feminine in my tennis shoes and windbreaker. They are not the most beautiful (if you want to see stunning people, go to Italy), but they carry themselves so well, and make a strong impression. One thing I noticed too, the ads in the metro occasionally featured topless women and there was nothing titillating about them at all. There was an artsy look to them. The ads here show women clothed, with their fake boobs and open mouths, and are far, far more in-your-face sexual.

[wagadog]

You "felt very un-feminine"?

Why? They're them, and you're you.

Maori women are not the most beautiful either, and carry themselves -- all two three hundred pounds of themselves -- so well they make a strong impression.

Like they could snap a guy's arms like twigs if he tried to pin 'em up against the lab bench or corner them in the elevator.

Awesome!

[wagadog]

"French womens' apparent self-confidence."

That doesn't come from being thin.

That comes from having a decent health care and creche system for decades. The long-held assumption that goes along with the practical reality is that a woman reproducing will not have any more dip in their productivity than will a man reproducing. At my lab, both men and women with small children and babies often brought them into the lab (but it was a computational lab, so there were no hazardous materials around). A lot of them went home for lunch, too, to be with their families.

Plus, it's just not a big deal to get RU-486 there. It's practically sold over the counter. French women really do have freedom of reproductive choice, and not the constant din of a bunch of fundamentalist rethug sanctimonious fucks telling them what they "should" and "should not" do with their bodies, combined with constant guilt-tripping and assumption that "she'll just quit to have babies anyway".


Confidence comes from having the freedom of reproductive choice, and the stability and continuity in their professional careers that comes from simple non-discrimination. Simple fucking FAIRNESS. There's none of this "but what if you get pregnant?" and "aren't you going to be having children soon?" shit with your PI trying to steal the grant just landed with your own research and give it to some dumbfuck college boy five years your junior.

And of course the women are more mature -- they're not being constantly infantilized by a bunch of lame-ass frat jocks "rating" them on their looks in college, who grow up to be a bunch of sanctimonious rethug fucks telling us what we "should" and "should not" do with our bodies.

The superior social programs and the infinietly less fucked-up attitude towards female scientists means there are A LOT more female chemists, physicists, mathematicians, programmers, biologists -- junior and senior faculty and researchers alike -- than you see in the US.

But they don't dress or act like the utter sluts you guys are jerking off over in the fashion mags, and they certainly didn't have to screw around with or marry someone important just to continue doing their research.

We're not yours to rate, and we're not yours to control, and we're not yours to stereotype.

One fat, one thin -- SFW?

RAF. Rien a Foutre, buddy.

[John]

I agree with a lot of what you say concerning the far superior social infrastructure in France. We had a baby there, and one here in the US, and I could write a book on the differences in the two systems (Michael Moore already made the movie). That's another discussion. I'm a laboratory scientist (PI in a medical school), and am very familiar with the differences between our systems regarding career paths. I do think that you're painting a somewhat idealized picture of womens' career options in France. There is a lot of unfairness there, and sexism in the halls of academia. Our system here, in spite of the horrific funding situation that has ensued due to mismanagement at the NIH (due to the Bush administration's stacking the NIH with cronies), we still provide more career opportunities, for men and women, than in France. The gap is narrowing, but we still lead, at least in the biomedical fields. Unfortunately, biomedical research is underfunded in France, forcing many to give up their CNRS lifetime appointments, and leave the country. This is tragic for France, but I see it as a result of a longtime resistance to get serious about building a true biomedical research infrastructure of the type that we've managed to create here.

But getting back to the women. I sense a fair amount of hostility in your writing, but you never-the-less hit many points precisely.

"And of course the women are more mature "

This is so true. As I mentioned above, French women (and men) seem to acquire a more adult demeanor at a much younger age than Americans do. I can spot an 18 year old American (boy or girl) in a crowd of mixed nationalities. They will act in a much more childlike fashion, and a conversation with a typical high school senior in America will quickly reveal a complete absence of understanding of the world beyond their school/sports/local environment. This is not the case with age-matched Europeans. They will sound and act far more 'serious', or adult-like. I don't necessarily regard this difference as all bad, because part of what makes American youth different is their sense of optimism and belief (albeit naive) that they can aspire to anything they want to do with their lives. Unfortunately, because their capabilities seldom develop to a level that can match their aspirations, many young people in America end up supremely disappointed in life. French kids on the other hand hold fewer illusions about life and their futures. This is good, but it also carries with it a loss of idealism/optimism that I think can hinder them as adults.


Getting back to the fat issue. I still stand by it. As a biologist who sees human male-female interactions in an admittedly bizarre way compared to most normal people, French women (and most European and Asian women) tend to be more attractive to males simply because they have not lost their feminine shape to fat. American women have. By fat here I'm not referring to a few extra pounds, but rather the onset of morbid obesity that has grown to epidemic proportions in America. And by thin, I'm also not referring necessarily to the rail thin model ideal either. Anyone who flies back and forth between the US and France will attest to this. 90% of women that you will encounter in public in the midwest (spanning all ages) have lost their shape in a major way, while that figure is closer to 10-20% in France. That is simply the cold hard fact. And a similar thing can be said for the men. However in that case, the detriment to men is less because our species and culture puts far less of a premium on the appearance of a males body in regards to desirability for a mate. Other factors take more prominent role, such as wealth, protective behavior, social status, etc. In short men are shallow, hormone driven animals, relative to women. We follow our d*cks, more than our brains when it comes to choice of women. This is especially true when we are young.

[tehriaz]

actually, no, it isn't at all hardwired, you've been conditioned by the media. throughout history, thin women were regarded as peasant class, and extra padding would denote a life of leisure, or also more suitability for childbearing. it's unbelievable how uninformed most people are.

[John]

Read my comments below. By thin I'm not referring necessarily to 'model' thin. Of course our standard of feminine attractiveness varies from culture to culture and has shifted even in the short history of mass media in the Western countries (compare Mae West's figure to today's sex symbols). However, morbid obesity is not attractive to males, and probably never was (with rare exceptions, fetishists for the most part).

[exile]

oh
so that's why there are so many fat girls with 5 screaming brats living in trailer parks in the u.s.

[Katbird]

Natural beauties? I dunno....there are plenty who've gone under the knife (Deneuve). Vanessa Paradis should fix her front teeth. That gap's bigger than Madonna's & Lauren Hutton's combined. Est-ce c'est parce que elle veut rester naturelle ou parce que ça plait à Johnny? The French adore Jane Birkin and she looks like hell. À chacun son gout? ou vive la différence?

[strawberryjulius]

That last one about comparing New Yorkers and Parisians isn't a good comparison. I wouldn't say that New Yorkers are fat. The American Podiatric Medical Association and Prevention magazine rated New York as the BEST WALKING CITY, 2006. That make us one of the healthiest cities in the country.

[mediamarv]

No, it just means New York has great walking opportunities, does not mean people are actually taking advantage of them.

Anyway, being 16 in Paris, my first serious kiss was with a French girl a year older.. she was not impressed but did dedicate quite a bit of time correcting my technique.... I am forever grateful.

[wagadog]

And they're forever laughing at guys like you walking around with your pants all tented out like that.

[Mort]

Some of you act like all French women glide around in flowing fashions and are the epitome of grace and beauty. Sorry, but I found them to be just a normal mix like anywhere else. There were cultural differences, though. And lots of hairy legs. But you see the same thing in Harvard Square.

[wagadog]

No, Mort, that's not what we're doing here tonight!

Tonight we're gender and national stereotyping!

Get with the program, man! You're not supposed to make observations of your own and then compare them critically with the observations of others.

You're supposed to repeat what you see in magazines and on the television, from the perspective of the response of your male organ!

Remember, women aren't human beings with a language and a culture and interests and personalities and an education -- we're OBJECTS to be photographed and filmed and jerked-off over.

And the contest we're supposed to enter is to see which of us can be the best jerk-off material. These invidious games of Stereotype A vs Stereotype F is meant to degrade both, so that we're oh-so-pleased to be professional jerk-off fodder.

Fall in line, soldier! Get with the program!

[JUSTME]

Whoa. We've skipped over a few tiny details.

First, average French working women are less affluent that American working women. So, dollar for franc it's possible French women spend less time grooming because they have more important things to do with their money.

Second, as anyone who lives in Paris can tell you, appetite supressants are very commonly used by women. Certainly, that might have something to do with the general state of thinness. Not only are appetite supressants widely used, but, in the winter months, Parisiennes are apt to be on anti-depressants because Paris is so dreary that time of year.

Third, I must say that Europeans, in general, eat better than Americans and that they pay more attention to what they eat and the quality of what they eat. In this country, we'll eat just about anything as long as the portion is large and the price is right. To put it more bluntly, Americans eat a lot of crap and hardly ever think about what they're putting in their mouths.

Fourth, Americans seem to be obssessed about eliminating every and any possible odor from their bodies above and beyond standards for good hygiene and social convention. Let's just say the French are a bit less neurotic.

Finally, French women tend to dress very simply, their wardrobes are not as extensive--which is to say filled with lots of cheaply manufactured, badly constructed outfits made of unnatural fibers--and not as much emphasis is placed on what one wears as here in this country.

Catherine Deneuve is a phenomenom in France just as she is the America. She is a woman of extraordinary beauty and not truly typical of all Frenchwomen. Overall, though, Frenchwomen do have a more natural approach to style and beauty and nutrition. It might not be a bad idea if we became a little more French in our thinking.

Mitt Romney just had a heart attack!