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WaPo Writer Proves Own Thesis With Inane Op-Ed

03/28/2008 02:46 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

If Charlotte Allen is trying to prove that women are stupid, then we should all consider her Exhibit #1.

I'm not going to waste my time parsing every single stupid statement in this piece — that's reserved for things that matter — but she does get at something that I've been wondering about recently: Why are people fainting at Obama rallies? It's pretty well established by now that he's an amazing speaker, that he's leading an incredible movement, that he's filling stadiums like never before seen in the political context — so are these people fainting from excitement and love and hope? Or are they maybe fainting because in order to be up front at an Obama event you have to line up really early and often the events run late and then it's a slow and laborious process to get the whole crowd filtered by the Secret Service and then there's usually a warm-up speaker or two until the candidate takes the stage? That makes me woozy just thinking about it. But since objective, critical assessment seems so far beyond Allen's puny intellectual capacities I won't judge her too harshly for leaving it out in this case.

Leaving aside the unsupported perpetuation of stereotypes, sweeping statements with no basis in fact and utter failure to be witty or clever, I have to take issue with the impugning of a true virtuoso of song: Céline Dion. Ahem. I'm pretty sure it wasn't just the womenfolk getting weepy when Rose and Jack had their watery farewell! Four Grammys (one was "Record of the Year") and millions of wedding songs can't be wrong (and if they are, I don't want to be right). Plus, she was inducted into the Canadian Broadcast Hall of Fame. They don't do that for just anyone, y'know. Too bad Allen didn't bother to research that or anything else in her piece — gee, I wonder if it's because she's not getting enough sex? 'Cause women totally get bitchy and cranky when that happens. Maybe if someone held her like this, and touched her like that she'd see things differently!

(Sorry if that last bit didn't make sense, but in addition to wanting to drop a Celine reference I thought I should just round out the slate of female stereotypes we're dealing with. I'd count 'em up, but I'm terrible at math!)

For smarter responses to this article — by boys! — Matt Yglesias, Jason Linkins, Jay Rosen, Glenn Reynolds, Shaun Mullen, Jay Newton-Small*, Steve Benen and PhD candidate Jake Young. Here are some other responses, but take them with a grain of salt because they were written by silly Botox-injecting, Obama-swooning, "Grey's Anatomy"-watching, "The Friday Night Knitting Club"-reading, eat-pray-loving women: Jane Hamsher, Amanda Marcotte, Jessica Valenti, Michelle Malkin, Jill Filipovic and Susan Reisman and the piece-de-resistance Jezebel girls, Moe Tkacik and Megan Carpentier, who break it all down real simple like.

And now I will leave you with this Celine Dion video, while I go shoe shopping with my twelve cats!

UPDATE: According to WaPo "Outlook" section editor John Pomfret told the Politico's Michael Calderone that Allen's piece was "meant to be tongue-in-cheek." See above re: failure to be witty or clever. C'mon, Pomfret, even a bunch of silly girls aren't going to believe that.



Some More Recommended Celine Songs:
It's All Coming Back To Me Now (By Jim Shaiman, so if you like Meatloaf, you'll like this.)
That's The Way It Is
Love Can Move Mountains
All By Myself (Buck up, lil' Celine, you've still got Vegas to look forward to!)
Because You Loved Me (Aw, remember when they hugged in the ocean???)
A New Day Has Come
To Love You More

Also, proof that women really ARE good drivers:
I Drove All Night

And, um, this has got to prove something:
I'm Your Angel (Duet with R. Kelly)

And finally — It All Comes Back To Hillary:
"You & I" - Official Hillary Clinton Campaign Song & Video

*Oh, come on, like Allen knows that's a woman. Shh!

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