What Does Your Poo Say About You?

According to this Salon article, poo is sweeping the nation! Well, at least a book about it is. What's Your Poo Telling You?, by Josh Richman and Anish Sheth, M.D., has sold over 225,000 copies.

Even Oprah's talking about poo!

So why poo, and why now? Well, when it comes to the success of "What's Your Poo Telling You?" there are two good reasons that two men in their 30s, who were potty-trained with the children's scatological classic "Everyone Poops," would grow up to write an adult version that speaks to their generation. No. 1, now that baby boomers are decidedly middle-aged, they're becoming ever more aware of physiological changes that make poop an important topic of conversation. No. 2, we're experiencing a baby boomer boomlet, with millions of new parents focusing, as new parents will, on their wee ones' output.

Moreover, this is the natural progression of a nation obsessed, and browbeaten, about eating healthy. So we've moved from mouth southward, from fretting over what goes in our mouth to what comes out the other end.

So, let's talk poo. Dr. Mehmet Oz can get us started:

"You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water," Oz instructs. "If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, 'plop, plop, plop,' that's not right because it means you're constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water." Oz makes a "swoosh" sound -- the sound of an Olympian excrement champion.

So tell us! We're all anonymous friends here. Do you check your poo? Do you do the doo-doo talk, or is that strictly behind closed (bathroom) doors? What does your poo say about you?

And lastly, in other poo-related news, a woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years straight, long enough for her skin to have grown around it.

So, yeah, don't worry, compared to that nothing you say could possibly be that strange.

Comments

[grailknight]

I've not in nearly thirty years told anyone my superpooper story. I woke one morning and headed to the donnecker when I was struck by a most peculier spasm that seemed to start from above my kidneys. I rushed to the john and barely got seated before passing a huge number two. I'm talking Randy Marsh from South Park turd! It was about a three on the stool scale and so big that my anus was smacking once it passed! Of course I inspected it It was so long that it filled the well heading into the s-pipe and came several inches out of the water. I shit thee not! Never before or since has by colon felt so completely empty. But unlike Stan's dad, I never thought of having it bronzed.

[munky dude]

And this is a hilariously scatological restaurant review -- http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/a_a_gill/article3525058.ece

Enjoy

[munky dude]

Okay, everyone - and I mean everyone - needs to take a look at the Bristol Stool Scale ((http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stool_scale))
Print a copy out and hang it by your can (might be an idea to laminate it), then inspect and match the results of your poopy efforts against the handy diagram.

For what it's worth, it's apparently taboo for Hindus to view their own stools, which is curious given the huge number of them littering the Indian subcontinent.

[javaman]

I pride myself in having good poops. I always have. I read someplace years ago when I was very young that good pooping is the sign of good health.

I have amazing poops. Plus, I just like to say poop.

Poop.

[UnionJok]

During a long-ago stay in Germany, I was initially mystified by the design of the toilet bowls there. There seemed to be only two explanations. (1) Having a small "well" at the front somehow saves water. (2) Having a high, saucer-like "shelf" makes it easier to eyeball the deposit.

Remembering that Germany was once considered the most scientifically advanced nation on earth, they probably had lots of articles in the popular press about things to look for. I guess they weren't big on the "plunk" test, though.

[TVDinner666]

I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Nicaragua, and they taught us to pay attention to our poop. Good thing, too, because one day I turned around to see it waving back at me. Several pieces of tapeworm were dancing in the currents of the toilet.

I still check, although it's pretty unlikely I'm going to get parasites here in the States.

[serialcoma]

You'd be surprised....

[RoudyLeft]

Anybody ever see those toilets like I had in Austria, with a "shit shelf" that caught it above the pool of water? Horrible, but I was told it is there so you could inspect it and see how you're doing– though none of the kids I was friends with had any interest.

[RoseMerry]

I had a toilet like this at my hotel in Amsterdam. I imagine that everyone does inspect it and few admit it. We are programmed to be proud of our creations. When beginning toilet training, some advise waiting until the little one is gone before flushing, so we do not upset them. It's a primal thang.

[Libsrule]

I have UC, so I have to pay close attention. Mine simply reminds me constantly that I am in ill health.

Anything else?

[FogBelter]

... merde

[TheInsomniac]

I learned recently that sitting on the pot too long (e.g., while reading, like that baby) will cause hemorrhoids. It explains so much! And for the 50% of Americans like me who suffer from this painful, and sometimes debilitating affliction, I have to say: shit, or get off the pot.

[Wil]

And if it fizzes, seek immidiate medical help.

[Cautious]

I think this is an extremely important subject for those of us that are "getting up there". I'm a nurse, and I think after 26 years, I'm probably an expert.

Anybody that's taking Plavix with or without aspirin should be aware of color. Yes, Virginia, we should be looking at the toilet paper or the poop itself. If it seems dark with a maroon tinge, or, worse yet, black and tarry, this could be indicative of internal bleeding, because blood turns that color when it's digested. A wise person would go to the emergency room- and take the TP with them in a ziploc bag or two ziploc bags.

The key here is the presence or absence or condition of a chemical called bilirubin, which should not be confused with Jerry Rubin or Billy Crystal. Bilirubin is what makes poop brown. It's a byproduct of the natural die-off of old red blood cells. Bilirubin is freed when the liver does its part in breaking down the red blood cells.

So if the liver is not able to do its job correctly, poop tends to be less brown tending towards gray. This is another good reason to get medical help really promptly. Of course, if there's something wrong with a person's liver, other symptoms usually get first attention. By the time a person gets to this point, there's usually jaundice, at least of the whites of the eyes.

I know it's wierd to talk about, but if this information helps one person, then it's been worth it. Anybody over 50 should always look at their poop or at least the TP. Anybody on Plavix or another medication that affects coagulation should look even if they're younger than 50.

And nobody can say I don't know shit.

[Nyk]

I've always wondered exactly what tarry meant. Do you know it when you see it?

[philipwitak]

i'm too pooped to participate in this ridiculous endeavor.

[nebdem]

Having had a bowel obstruction (post cancer surgery) and experiencing a second surgery to remove part of the bowel, I can tell you it is an important part of healthy living. We all take it for granted until it doesn't work. I know that if it's not working, then you will rejoice when it finally does...strange but true.

[MrKnuckles]

That I'll poo like a baby if I read a newspaper?