Robert Downey Jr. On Dating Sarah Jessica Parker, Parenting And Drug Use

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First Posted: 04-16-08 01:43 PM   |   Updated: 04-24-08 05:12 AM

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Robert Downey

Robert Downey Jr. is on the cover of Parade this weekend in advance of his big-budget flick "Iron man," and inside he talks about his previous relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker, his long battle with drugs and being a parent. From the press release:

"Five or six years ago, I saw the writing on the wall. I knew the party was over," actor Robert Downey Jr. tells PARADE for this Sunday's issue. "It was time for me to come out of the Dark Ages and get real."

For much of his adult life, Downey, 43, was caught in a ruinous cycle of drug addiction, imprisonment and disgrace. Downey claims that by 8 he already had used drugs with his filmmaker father. When he later dropped out of high school and moved to New York, his father wouldn't support him. "That's part of education," he observes, "the moment when your dad says, 'The gravy train is done.' "

Downey's reputation as a party boy didn't stop him from getting major films, but his self-indulgence subverted his relationship with actress Sarah Jessica Parker. "I was so selfish," he admits. "I liked to drink, and I had a drug problem, and that didn't jibe with Sarah Jessica, because it is the furthest thing from what she is. She provided me a home and understanding. She tried to help me. She was so miffed when I didn't get my act together.

"I was making money. I was mercurial and recklessly undisciplined and, for the most part, I was happily anesthetized," he says. "Sarah Jessica would pull me out of a hangover, and we'd go pick out furniture together. She is a force of nature!"

He and Parker stayed together for seven years before she broke up with him in 1991. "I had very much this post-adolescent, faux nihilistic, punk-rock rebellious attitude," he says. "I thought my way was so much cooler than people who were actually building lives and careers. I was in love with Sarah Jessica," he confesses, "and love clearly was not enough. I was meant to move on. And, after some heartache, she was meant to find her home with a great star." Describing Parker's husband, actor Matthew Broderick, Downey adds, "He is a lot more gifted and grounded than I ever was. They have a great kid."

Shortly after his breakup with Parker, Downey married his first wife and had a son, Indio, now 14. "Our marriage and having a child probably kept me from going off the rails completely," he says, "but it wasn't enough to right the ship." By 1996, Downey's drug use became public with his arrests for drug, gun and DWI offenses.

"You use whatever rationalization you can to justify the fact that you're not living truthfully," he observes about substance abuse. "You make this death machine seem glamorous so you can get on to the next moment. But it isn't glamorous, and it isn't fun.

"People rise out of the ashes because, at some point, they are invested with a belief in the possibility of triumph over seemingly impossible odds," Downey says. Meeting his current wife, producer Susan Levin, helped his recovery. "She told me, 'I'm not doing that [drug] dance with you. I'm drawing a line in the sand here.' She was absolutely clear about it. That doesn't mean that other women, business associates, movie directors, insurance companies, judges and law enforcement hadn't been clear about it too. It was that, before I met Mrs. Downey, I just didn't give a goddamn. What changed is that I cared.

"I'm learning the business of building a life. Instead of getting instant gratification by getting high, I push my nose as far into the grindstone as I can. The honey, the reward, is the feeling of well-being, the continuity, the sense that I am walking toward a place I want to go."

Downey stars as a comic-book superhero in his new movie, Iron Man, opening May 2. "Look at this!" Downey exclaims delightedly, picking up a plastic doll of himself in Iron Man armor. "I've done something most people thought I'd never do. I've become a leading-man superhero in a big action movie!

"I went after Iron Man because Keanu Reeves got The Matrix, and Johnny Depp got Pirates," he says. "I'm looking at all these posters of the movies I've seen with my son, and I'm thinking, 'Damn! I could do that!' "

Robert Downey Jr. is on the cover of Parade this weekend in advance of his big-budget flick "Iron man," and inside he talks about his previous relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker, his long battle w...
Robert Downey Jr. is on the cover of Parade this weekend in advance of his big-budget flick "Iron man," and inside he talks about his previous relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker, his long battle w...
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- We I'm a Fan of We permalink

Maybe it was on James Lipton (Stanislavski!) where Robert revealed that his real downward spiral began after playing the drug-addict role in Less Than Zero.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:53 PM on 04/19/2008
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I'm very glad he's getting his act together. I lived in LA when he had his "unfortunate incarcerat­ion".....h­is nickname in the Big House was Honeybutt. I'm sure that had as much to do with his getting the act together as anything else!!!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:08 PM on 04/18/2008

HUGE FAN of the DOWNEY and of his RECOVERY!!! POWERFUL acting skills. With how deeply he feels, one can understand how he got so lost. I PRAYED FOR YOU ROBERT, along with all the other fine actors who KNOW YOUR ONE OF THE BEST. SO HAPPY YOU ARE LEARNING TO HAVE FUN! LOVE LOVE LOVE COMING YOUR WAY

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:25 PM on 04/18/2008

When Downey was at his most self destructive, I kept expecting to find his obit in the paper, sure that he was going down in flames. And it made me angry, that someone that talented, intelligent, articulate and handsome would choose to destroy himself. So I was very happy when he pulled it together, finally. The years of heavy drugging have taken its toll on his face, though .... he looks older than 43. Still handsome, though! One day at a time, Robert.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:49 AM on 04/18/2008
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It's funny to me when these young legendary actors ( Oscar nominated for almost every picture they were involved with in some way since birth, clinging and attracting the best of the best like a magnetic pull from the sun to the flowers on earth each day, dreamed, manifested the best entertainment that uplifts you all, made you smile, and put that before their own career and inner love---just to find the truth, seeking only to give and forgetting to receive, if only too late to care yet not too late to care about self first. ( Sometimes these ultra talented stars just live to entertain, and forget they need to be their own audience without being their own critic in the process. Something very destructive when worried upon. Young Downey is blessed to overcome those obstacles. Maybe he's too sexy. :) Sometimes being too sexy is a curse. One time I gell in love with him. I think it was his movie Chances Are. So cute. His energy was primed and hot, and he was without doubt a product of two very artistic parents ---or he wouldn't be who he is ...with which he learned instinctively from professionalism. May 2nd Ironman hits theaters worldwide. His costar is Jeff Bridges. ( Seabiscuit, Tucker A Man and His Dream.)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:53 AM on 04/18/2008
- outnow I'm a Fan of outnow 172 fans permalink

Getting clean and sober is must. No matter how talented, you are, it isn't enough if you are still partying; being in recovery can save your marriage, your career and your life. I remember when his sentencing judge in Malibu practiced a little tough love. Best of luck to Robert! He is a really talented actor.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:15 PM on 04/17/2008
- peachfuzz I'm a Fan of peachfuzz 11 fans permalink
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I think he is wonderfully gifted & he has always had good performances.

I wish him loads of luck & hope the worst is behind him.

He is one of my favorites.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:01 PM on 04/17/2008

I am so glad he finally got his act together. He is an amazing actor.

He was even good in "Fur", an otherwise horrible movie.

Great article! Looking forward to seeing his newest movie!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:49 AM on 04/17/2008

I think he is a wonderful actor! I can't wait for Iron Man!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:19 PM on 04/17/2008
- vandegrasse I'm a Fan of vandegrasse 189 fans permalink
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What a well-spoken nice man. I'm glad he's getting his act together. It's a tough thing to do.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:50 AM on 04/17/2008

So he banged Sarah Jessica Parker. Meh, this one time, at Farm Camp, I also once dated a horse.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:34 AM on 04/17/2008
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It's not that unusual for a horse to mate with a jackass.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:40 PM on 04/17/2008

And the offspring is a stupid beast of burden who can't reproduce, just like you.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:28 PM on 04/17/2008

I have seen his pics on a celeb dating site named ‘M a r r y M i l l i o n a i r e . C o m’. I don’t understand what he do on that site.Does he want to date with some girls?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:53 PM on 04/16/2008

Good luck to you Robert. If you live life as well as you practice your craft you'll do just fine.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:31 PM on 04/16/2008

I used to get so mad at Leno for never letting up on Downy during his bad years.I fully expected to hear that he was dead sometime. Glad he made it out, cuz he had it bad.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:36 PM on 04/16/2008

I remember seeing Robert walk out of a bar not long after Less Than Zero and thinking, "Wow, he knows how to stay in character." Good luck with the new path. Life is tough.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:05 PM on 04/16/2008
- Chuckwheat I'm a Fan of Chuckwheat 10 fans permalink
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I like his range and abilities. He's good in the quirky "Fur," and he and Val Kilmer have very funny interaction in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang."

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:46 PM on 04/16/2008
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